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I stood, unsure of what would be an appropriate greeting for the woman I couldn’t stop thinking about and had pictured this morning as I relieved myself in the shower. Thankfully, she made the first move, leaning in to give me a soft kiss on the cheek.
“It’s great to see you, Sasha.”
“It’s good to see you, too.”
Silence filled the space between us. The question had lingered in my mind for the past two weeks since returning: had this been just an Irish fling, or was this something more?
Being in front of her now, I knew the answer—it was more, much more.
“So, were you ever going to text me?” I asked, breaking the silence with a grin.
She laughed, taking a sip of her ice water. “Honestly, I’m not sure. I had a text typed up for a few days but just couldn’t bring myself to press send. I thought you lived in Detroit.”
“Would you have texted me if you knew we both lived in DC?” I asked.
She thought for a moment as I held my breath. “I’m not sure, Ethan. I can admit that what we had in Ireland was intense and we certainly shared a connection, I’m just not sure if I know how to date anymore. It’s pretty crazy that we both live here, but I guess it can be explained by the fact that it is the nation’s capital and a very popular city for young adults.”
Serendipity, I thought to myself but decided not to share that out loud again.
“So, what made you decide to stop your adventures and return to the States?” I subtly shifted the conversation after the server left, taking our orders.
“It felt like it was time to stop running,” she spoke, sipping her water again.
I wondered if the water sipping was a nervous habit or something she did every time she lied because I could tell there was more to that answer.
She smiled nervously and looked down. “My best friend Natalie posted an ad on her Instagram page that she was looking to fill my empty room, and it made me miss her and our condo. She’s a therapist and was studying for some additional certifications before I left. One of which was EMDR. I’ve been having nightmares and trouble sleeping for years now. Sometimes flashbacks to things that happened during my childhood, and other times they are of experiences I’ve never lived. I realized I missed my mom and needed to get back into therapy. Since returning, I’ve gone back to see my therapist to work through things with my dad and stepdad. Natalie has offered to try out some of her new techniques on me too.”
“That’s great. Therapy has been a part of my journey, too.” I spoke.
“Something I realized while traveling is that I’m not good at acknowledging my feelings. I’m good at running from them. I’m also not good at letting anyone in. It’s a really vulnerable thing to allow someone to know the parts of me that aren’t pretty. When I opened up to you about my fucked-up story in London, it was because I’d assumed I would never see you again. Now that you know the most fucked-up parts of me, I feel relief, in a way, but also really freaking vulnerable. There’s something about you that feels… dangerous,” she responded. “I’m still trying to figure out of it was a good thing to meet up with you today.” She gave a shy smile my way.
I nodded like I got it, but I didn’t. The only thing dangerous about Sasha for me was if she left again, I wasn't sure I'd be able to recover this time.
“At least we know the pressure is off since we both know each other most fucked up stories.” I stated, “and I’m going to do my best to convince you that today was a good idea.”
She chuckled. “Tell me, what have you been up to since you returned?”
“Started something new with Ryan. It’s an app called WanderHub that connects travelers who want to share experiences, lodging and transportation to save money and make new friends.”
“That’s really cool. I could have used that on my travels.”
You were my inspiration. I thought to myself.
“Didn’t seem like you had any trouble meeting new people without it.”
She chuckled again, “that’s true. I made a lot of friends while traveling but having the opportunity to connect on experiences financially would have been helpful. Also, I bet you could integrate an aspect that includes social media into that. I’ve been meaning to look up some of the people I’ve met but can’t remember their last names.”
“That’s a great idea. I’ll take that back to Ryan for our next version.”
Our server returned, placing our pasta dishes in front of us and then leaving us alone once again.
She smiled, “This is nice. Though we only knew each other for a brief period, it feels like we just picked up where we left off. I’m embarrassed to admit it, but for having only spent 24 hours with you, I couldn’t stop thinking about you in Spain. And it wasn’t just because your phone number was branded on my foot.”
That got me to grin. I knew she’d felt our connection too. “I couldn’t stop thinking about you, too.”
The rest of our date consisted of exchanging comfortable conversations about our travels and sharing about our new professional adventures since returning to the States. Sasha shared that she’d returned to teaching in person courses, and seemed to be enjoying her foray into education while she figured out what she wanted to do long term. When the meal finished, I knew I needed a way to continue this date so that she wouldn’t slip away again.
“Do you want to walk down the basin and look at some of the events they have going on?” I asked. “I haven’t been here since I was a kid.”
