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“No, it isn’t,” Aurora is quick to point out, scrunching her nose. “You have black hair, and it’s straight.”
“It is. I just have to wear it like this because some people told me to. But I like it better how you have it. And you have blue eyes too. Just like mine. Your mommy has green eyes.” He looks back at me with a scowl that makes my blood run cold in my veins.
Aurora looks up at me with a smile. “Can he come inside, Mommy?”
“No!” I shout, startling her, so I clear my throat. “I mean, not right now, sweetie. He has things to do. He can’t stay.”
“Sure, I can.” Apollo stands, looking me in the eyes. “You have something you need to tell me anyway.”
I see no need to try to lie to him. “Fine. You’re right.”
“She is…”
I nod. “She is.”
“Lucy, this is crazy.”
“You’re right. I can’t talk about this right now. I’m sure you can understand.” My eyes go to Aurora before finding his again, praying he understands. I know hiding her from him was wrong, but it was my way of setting him free. “I’m sorry. We will talk about this, but please, not right now.”
He is standing there, looking at me and his daughter, seeming at a loss for words.
I pull Aurora behind me and say, “I really am sorry,” before slowly closing the door with him on the outside.
I try not to cry in front of our daughter as I take her to the bedroom to change her clothes.
She is all that matters now. Protecting her and her feelings. He is larger than life and deserves to meet her, and my daughter deserves to know her dad. But she also deserves someone who will be here for her, and with his lifestyle, I’m not so sure he can be that person.
Yet, now that he knows, will I really be able to keep them apart?
This is a disaster.
5
Apollo
“One, two, three, four…” Chen clacks his drumsticks with the count before we begin playing our newest song.
Band practice is the last thing I want to be doing right now. With everything that’s happened, I think it’s understandable. “Hey, I’m gonna step out for a bit. I need some fresh air.”
Ty gestures to the rest of the band. “Lo, as you can see, everyone else is ready to practice. We need you, buddy. Come on. You can get some fresh air later.”
I hate it when he talks to me like I’m a little kid. “I say, buddy, that I’m not into it right now, and I’m taking a breather. Take ten, everyone.”
Ty rolls his eyes while the rest of the guys simply sit back and chill.
I walk out onto the balcony of the hotel where we’re staying. Yet another hotel room.
I’m getting so tired of this life. We’ve been on the road since we started four years ago.
This is the first time we've returned to our hometown, and I don’t even have a home anymore, no place to call my own, a safe haven. I don’t think any of us do.
I have the money for it, but why bother when you’re never in any place long enough to even know anyone’s name?
My life has become routine. Predictable. Boring. Practice, rehearse, perform, drink until I pass out, rinse, repeat.
It’s all about the music and nothing to do with actually getting to live our lives. Lives we don’t even have anymore.
My brother follows me out, closing the glass door behind us. “So, enlighten me, dear brother. What’s bothering you now?”
