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Effie chuckled.
“What’s so funny?” I asked desperately.
“It’s just that… this is so obvious,” she said with a shake of her head.
“What?”
“He’s…” she paused. “He’s looking for you in other people. If he can’t have you, he’ll settle for the next best thing.”
I quirked an eyebrow at her, but my tears had stopped. “You’re just saying that to make me feel better.”
She shrugged. “It’s the truth. You can choose to believe me or not, that’s on you. But I’m calling this right now—if they’re together or engaged or whatever, it’s not gonna last.”
“Really?!” I asked desperately, my voice full of hope. “How do you know?”
“Dude, this is literally my job,” she said matter-of-factly. “I’m running a relationship advice channel, remember?”
“I thought it was a flirting advice thing.”
“Well, my business has evolved.”
I could sense the beginning of a bickering session, and I wanted to bicker more than anything in the world, but I just didn’t have the energy.
Effie watched my face, gauging my feelings. “Look. Here’s what’s going to happen. They might announce an engagement or whatever—”
I tensed.
“—but don’t worry, it won’t last. Pretty soon, Grayson will start noticing all the ways she isn’t you, and he’ll leave her and come crawling back. Guaranteed.”
A stable version of myself would have told my sister she was full of it. But in this desperate state, I asked, “How long, do you think?”
“If they’re recently engaged? I give it six to eight weeks.”
I stared at her, dumbfounded. But somehow, she’d peeled back all of my broken internal machinery and planted a glowing seed of hope. “How… how do you know?”
“Because, silly. They started dating right after you guys broke up, that means she’s a rebound. That new relationship shine lasts exactly three months. Then the cracks start showing up—”
“But it’s been longer than three months and she looks like she’s having agreattime with him,” I said, my voice squeaking at the end.
“Psh! Instagram! Don’t believe those lies. Hell, the more she posts about him, the worse you know it’s going for them. This is gonna be a fucking train wreck and I’m here for it!”
I brightened, hardly daring to believe it.
“Anyway. Once the wedding planning begins, that’s when they’ll have to face reality. Grayson’s going to be looking down the road to forever, look to his right, and see someone that isn’t you in the passenger seat. He doesn’t strike me as someone that settles, so he’ll break it off and come crawling back. Not that you should takehim back, mind you, you know I think you’re too good for him—”
“You think I’m too good for everybody,” I pointed out.
“True!” she said, booping me on the nose. “Because you are. But mark my words: in a few weeks, Grayson’s going to come knocking at your door. Though, by that time, I wager you’ll be too far underneath someone better.”
I scrunched up my face. “Ugh! You’re so crude!”
“What?!” She said with a laugh. “It’s true! You’re a total babe, you have that sexy teacher thing going on, you’re smart, competent, organized, I could go on. Any guy would be one lucky son of a bitch to have you.”
I tried not to smile; I wasn’t done soaking in my sulking. But dammit, Effie made it hard to be miserable.
“I know what you need,” she said with a mischievous gleam in her eyes. “You need to go out.”
“Right now? I feel horrible—”
