AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Don’t pretend you haven’t thought the same, had those fantasies running through your head. I can smell it on you, I can feel it, how much you want me, even if you hate me at the same time.”
He’s not wrong. I’m too wet with desire for the thin fabric of my dress to hide it. I want to blush, but all the heat in my body has rushed southwards. I lay my hand over his and feel the slide of his claws retracting under my touch. Keeping my eyes fixed on his face, I guide his hand up, making my own breath hitch as I position his palm between my legs. The fabric of the dress was too thin to wear anything beneath it, and Ruskin discovers that now, his eyes widening and a ferocious noise of pleasure ripping from his throat.
“I see you’ve come ready for me,” he whispers.
I tingle at the words. I don’t know where this boldness has come from, but there’s something about Ruskin that awakens this hungry, insatiable side of me. Perhaps it’s seeing how he embraces his inner beast. It makes me want to revel in my base, animal appetites too.
I press his hand against me, letting him feel the slick skin there, putting delicious pressure at the point that yearns to be touched. He doesn’t hesitate, pressing an index finger inside of me, then adding another. My head falls back and a low, keening sound I never knew I could make spills from me.
“So soft,” Ruskin mutters with delight, then leans forward to murmur directly into my ear. “All this resistance, all this fighting me, when I can give you what we both want if you’d just play along.” He curls his fingers within me as he places his lips to my outstretched neck. I quiver at the bolt of sensation between my legs, then gasp as he nips lightly at my throat with his teeth, a delicious mingling of pain and pleasure.
His words, however, snap something within me. Even as I look into his beautiful face, wanting to let go and have him take me right here, part of my brain tugs me back into reality.
I am playing along—at least, alongside him. I’m in the game now, but we’re opponents, not partners, and I can’t let him pull ahead. If I give in now—to my desire and to him—he’ll take control, and I’ll lose my chance to catch him off balance and discover what he might reveal. Better I keep my head and keep him at a distance—near enough to keep those fantasies alive, perhaps, but not actually realizing them. Let him be the one distracted and dazed for a change.
I press my fingers to his wrist, pulling his hand away. I can’t stop the little sigh I make, immediately missing the feeling of his fingers inside me, but I know I have to stay focused.
I dip my hand to my chest, and at least derive some enjoyment from the way his eyes automatically follow the movement. Yet I simply hook the petal between my fingers and press it against the wall behind me, forcing him to step back as it melts away.
“I don’t hate you, Ruskin.”
I don’t think it’s an outright lie. If I fully hated him, I wouldn’t want to know where that sadness comes from when he answers me sometimes, or why he was willing to tell me about his mother. And I certainly wouldn’t be enjoying the feel of his kiss still burning on my lips or his touch making my skin tingle all the way up between my thighs.
“You’re too used to getting everything you want.” I step backwards through the archway. His eyes flash as he starts to comprehend what I’m doing. For a moment, I wonder if he’ll use force to stop me from leaving, if his hunger will overtake everything. But I trust Halima, and remember how certain she was that he wouldn’t hurt me, even in this strange, moon-drunk state.
“You can have my skills, Ruskin, but you can’t have me. That wasn’t part of our deal.” I study his powerful form, fighting against my own desire for this beautiful creature. Perhaps I won’t close the door completely, I decide. That wouldn’t make strategic sense.
Sure, that’s the reason.
“And if that’s what you want,” I add, “you’ll just have to convince me. Just so you know, I’m not easy to convince.”
I turn my back on him before he can argue, and I very determinedly do not look back. I know that going forward I’ll need to tread carefully. Gaining Ruskin’s trust strikes me as a balancing act between victory and sweet oblivion. I’ll have to find a way to navigate it—no matter what it takes. It might be my only shot at going home, and I’d risk anything for that.
I just hope Ruskin doesn’t realize how desperately a part of me wants to lose herself.
Chapter 18
The bluecups don’t work. There’s a moment in my workshop when my gold liquidizes, the solution I’ve made edging back towards the lead it used to be, but then the reaction collapses under my tense watch, the gold solidifying once more, only this time with some ugly streaks of black through it. I throw my tongs down onto the table with a clatter.
“No good?” asks Destan, reading a book on a chaise in the corner. He’s visibly smug because Halima’s told him I wore the dress last night. The first thing he did when he came in this morning was ask if it had the “desired effect” while waggling his eyebrows at me. I’ve been ignoring him since.
“There’s something missing,” I say, but don’t go into more detail. I know Destan well enough now to guess that while he’d be nice about it, he’d also be thoroughly bored by the whole thing.
“I can’t believe that after everything you put me through in the forest, those damn flowers don’t even work,” he tuts, then seems to have a thought. “Still, I suppose it at least gave you and Rus time to bond.”
“We didn’t bond,” I say.
“What about last night, then?”
I can’t stop the blush that floods my cheeks. Those brief moments of being pinned up against that wall by Ruskin, his hands on me—fingers in me—feel like they happened a world away. Looking back on the memory, I can scarcely believe it’s real, here in the cold light of day.
“What do you know about last night?” I demand.
“Oh, only that Ruskin came back all worked up and frustrated about something. I hadn’t pegged you for a tease.”
I wonder if I could knock the book out of his hands if I threw my tongs from here.
“It wasn’t like that!” I say, appalled. “He…wasn’t himself last night, that’s all.” The truth is, I wasn’t myself last night. Or at least, not a version I recognize. Perhaps Faerie is changing me.
