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I frown.
“You disagree?” he asks, his eyebrows rising. “You, of all people?”
“I think you’re committed to protecting your kingdom, which is a great deal more than can be said about some rulers. But your methods…”
Kidnapping me certainly wasn’t honorable, or the deals he makes, even if they are to keep him and, by extension, his realm alive.
He watches me silently and I get the sense he’s waiting for me to pull away. Like I might at any moment realize he’s some dangerous animal.
“I think you don’t always have to trick people to get what you want,” I say.
He tilts his head, and his smile turns sad.
“You think you truly would’ve helped me had you not been bound to do so? If I’d just asked?”
“I think I would,” I say, perhaps too aggressively, but I don’t like the implication that I don’t know myself.
“Maybe,” he concedes. “But that would’ve required me trusting you with one of my biggest secrets. That’s not something I could imagine doing with a stranger.”
“Or with lifelong friends, apparently.”
He sits up like I’ve struck him. “Ouch.”
“Well, it’s true, isn’t it?” I say.
The opportunity of the moment springs up on me—here, in this intimate setting, talking about his secrets, I could ask for one more.
“You could trust me now.” I let a note of challenge seep into my voice.
A line appears between his brows.
“I do trust you. Haven’t I shown you that?”
“You’ve revealed some of your secrets because you had to, because I was halfway to figuring them out anyway. But what about something you don’t have to give?” I twist my napkin in my fingers, holding my nerve. “Tell me who you really are, Ruskin, so that I’m no longer bound by this deal. If you do, then when I help you, you’ll know it’s because I want to, not because I have to. Isn’t that better?”
His expression sharpens as he realizes what I’m asking.
“Eleanor, are you asking for my true name?”
Chapter 26
His voice is quiet, skirting the edge between danger and simple intensity. I don’t know which way the pendulum will swing, but I swallow, breathless despite being perfectly still.
“Yes, I am.”
His eyes have turned yellow, cat-like, his Unseelie side taking over. I wonder if he even knows he’s doing it sometimes, but it’s as clear a sign as any—he feels threatened, wary, and his body is telling him that his defenses should go up.
“You didn’t come to that idea on your own,” he says.
I narrow my gaze. “Well, that’s a bit insulting.”
“Don’t worry, I fully believe it took some clever effort on your part, but humans don’t even have true names. Someone must have told you.”
I lift my chin up in defiance, refusing to let him make me feel guilty for turning to a friend for advice, even if I did it behind his back. How many times have I seen him do what he believed he had to do in the name of his—his realm’s—survival? I won’t feel bad about doing the same. I have people who rely on me too.
“Does it really matter?” I ask.
“Maybe, if someone’s whispering into your ear all the ways to hoodwink me.”
