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He gave an angry sigh. “I loved you then, and I love you now. And all that time in between, I still loved you. I could have lost you tonight, so I’m not going to spend another moment pretending you aren’t the love of my life—because you are.”
I looked away, his words too intimate for me to accept. They made me feel so warm and alive…but they also ripped me apart. I tried not to live in the past, but everything flashed before my eyes in a heartbeat. “I’m going to shower?—”
“No, we’re doing this.” He crossed the distance between us and got in my face. “We’re doing this because it is long overdue. You think I married you to get back at your father?” he asked incredulously. “I married you because I was in love with you. Because I knew it was the only way I could get you back.”
I tried to turn away, but he yanked me back.
“Tell me you love me.”
I kept my eyes off him. “I’m not…” There were too many words in my head to get out. “I’m not there yet.”
“Yes, you are.”
“It’s hard to hear you say this…because of the way you hurt me.”
“Baby—”
“I can’t just let it go. I can’t just forget about it. It’s not that easy. It wasn’t even that long ago.”
His hand continued to grip my arm. “Look at me.”
“No.” My eyes stayed on the floor.
“Baby, look at me.”
I shook my head.
His voice dropped. “Please.”
I closed my eyes, the sound of his voice too beautiful to resist. I took a breath before I lifted my chin and met his gaze.
His eyes shifted back and forth between mine.
“Trust me,” he said. “I’d die for you. I’d kill for you. I love you more than any man has ever loved a woman. I’m so fucking in love with you it makes me want to explode. Don’t let the past interfere with this moment…because it’s real.”
My eyes were desperate to flick away, the emotion in his eyes eliciting emotion in mine.
He squeezed my wrist. “It’s fucking real.” His hand left my wrist and snaked into my hair. “You know it is.”
I lowered my gaze to his chin, my hand gripping his wrist. “I—I don’t know why I believe you. I don’t know what it is. I just do.”
“Because you know me, baby.”
I found the strength to look at him again.
“You know my heart. You know my soul. You have my fucking back, always have.” His fingers dug deeper into my hair. “And I have yours—always. I want you to say it back, but if you can’t, it’s okay. Because I know you…I know your heart, your soul, all of you. And I know you feel the same way.”
Wow, that wasn’t easy but we got there…sorta. Is this the calm before the storm? You won’t believe what happens next in It Ruins Me.
