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I wanted to grasp this new opportunity with both fists. The chance to get in the ring again would be fucking amazing. It was what my dad wanted for me, too. We’d had millions of conversations about it, and he’d told me over and over again that he was happy with the help of nurses while Lotto and I were out on the road. But I wasn’t sure how I felt about someone else doing what was my job. I was pretty sure the guilt would eat me up alive. Would it end up being too much of a strain on all of us if I agreed to take Ari up on the offer?
But then again… I had the intense feeling that if I didn’t do this right now, it’d be the biggest mistake I’d ever make.
I needed Lotto. I sent him a quick text telling him I got an offer, and I needed him here as soon as he could. My guess… he was waiting for this text, since he knew me better than I knew myself.
With my mind going a million miles a minute, I jumped straight into the shower, knowing that the hot water would help me think. It wasn’t long before I could hear a hushed whisper coming my way.
“…can you actually see Freakshow allowing him in? After what he did? He’s a fucking cheat!”
Someone was clearly badmouthing me, which really should have been expected, but it pissed me off regardless. I’d moved past caring what others thought of me now. I had worked so fucking hard to make myself a better person, but no one ever seemed to see that. They saw me as the same person I was way back then. I used to care what people thought; hell, I craved positive attention. But I was used to the negative only now.
“…he was the best fighter out there, though.”
“That doesn’t matter! He’s a fuck-up, and that will only drag the rest of us down. This gym doesn’t need a bad rep like that.”
“I heard the Godwins wanted him dead.”
“Jesus. I wouldn’t want to fuck with them.”
“Ari and Freakshow have fucking lost it.”
Ever so slowly, simply being pissed started to transform into something else. A burning hot anger. How fucking dare these people judge me when they didn’t even know me?
“He fucking threw a fight. Who does that shit? What would drive someone to that?”
I couldn’t take it anymore. I needed to stand up for myself. To make these fuckers see that I wouldn’t be pushed around.
I slammed the shower curtain open and grabbed hold of my towel before stepping forward with anticipation and rage coursing through my veins. “Why don’t you just ask me, rather than talking shit behind my back like a little bitch?”
I was shocked to find myself looking at Teo—one of the guys with whom I had sparred earlier. He’d been patting my back, telling me that I fought like a beast, and now he was talking about me. Only little bitches did that.
At first, Teo looked somewhat shocked, like he might cower away from me. But then he seemed to realize everyone was staring at us, and he needed to be a man. “I just think that we don’t need someone like you dragging us down. I think you’re bad news. You always have been, and that’s the end of it.”
“Don’t you fucking get it?” I asked. “I’m not that asshole anymore. Haven’t you ever made a mistake?” I wanted everyone to understand, but of course that wasn’t going to just happen. “You’re a damn idiot.”
I tried to turn away and walk off. But not content with only acting like a dickhead, Teo pushed me, trying to start a fight. I sucked in a deep breath, not wanting to act like a fool, but it was too late for any rationality. Anger raged within, and it was slowly eating me up alive.
I spun back, clenching my fists, ready for a fucking fight, if that was what he wanted. A real beating unlike the one in the ring that barely had me break a sweat. But before I could get to him and knock him the fuck out, Freakshow entered the room—the owner whom I needed to impress. I really couldn’t get into a fight right now. Not when I hadn’t even signed the contract yet.
I fell backward against the cold wall, trying to get control of myself. I needed to learn to keep my temper under control if I was really going to attempt resurrecting my career. It was going to get a whole lot worse than some assholes talking shit behind my back, and I was going to have to let it just brush off me. If I lost my temper every time someone acted like a prick, then entering the cage again was going to be the biggest mistake ever.
