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But at times, I wondered if I would ever truly feel like I belonged. If I was ever truly going to break free from being the unwanted, discarded dirty little boy no one ever wanted. Everything felt temporary for me. As much as I tried to fight the feeling, it was a demon that won. I suppose it was why I felt the need to manage. To take care of. If I always made myself needed, then there would be no reason to toss me aside.
I sat down in the armchair across from them. “Enough with the sappy talk, you two,” I said, trying to diffuse the awkwardness that hung in the air. “Where did you go tonight? Frankie and I were talking, and then the next thing I knew, you had left.”
Bones chuckled, a bit of the edge returning to his voice. “Oh, you know, just had some business to attend to.” He winked at me, but there was a hint of something else in his gaze, a darkness that hadn’t been there before the fight. I knew better than to pry in front of his father. His wink told me all I needed to know.
He had been with Ari.
Bones stood up and stretched, the muscles in his back and arms rippling, evidence of the hours he’d spent in the gym. “I’m tired. I need to turn in.”
Pops coughed into his handkerchief before taking another gasping breath. “Yeah, get outta here. I’m tired, too,” he said, although the light in his eyes hadn’t dimmed since Bones had walked in the door. He then looked at me. “I’m proud of you, Lotto. I may not tell you that enough. And I know you’re often in the shadow of Bones, but I want you to know that our family wouldn’t be anything without you. Bones and I both need you.”
“Absolutely,” Bones agreed.
I nodded, unable to find the words to express how much their approval meant to me. The three of us knew the truth: Bones was the fighter, the one destined for greatness in the cage, and I was always just the one holding down the fort. But tonight, it did feel good to get some acknowledgment.
“Thanks, Pops,” I managed to say, my voice thick with emotion. “I’m just glad I could help. You know, do my part.”
I followed Bones upstairs, giving him space as he showered and changed. When he emerged, his face taut with exhaustion and a hint of bruising forming under his eyes, I handed him a glass of water and two painkillers.
“Here,” I said gruffly. He raised an eyebrow but downed the pills with a grunt of thanks before collapsing onto his bed. “So you left with Ari?”
“Yeah, we went back to the gym and?—”
“Frankie’s going to kill you,” I cut in. “You’re entering dangerous territory.”
“I can handle Frankie.”
“Yeah, well can you handle Freakshow? Because that man could beat you to a bloody pulp. He’s over-the-top possessive of Ari.”
“Yeah, did you tell yourself that when you spanked Ari’s ass and had her lips around your cock?”
“Point taken.” I sat down on the edge of the bed and studied Bones, his eyes locking with mine. “Did you fuck her?”
“It was more than just fucking,” he said with a nod. “But yeah.”
The silence stretched between us, thick with unspoken words and the weight of our shared past. Bones had always been the one who had a way with the ladies, while I was more reserved and cautious. We shared plenty of times, but something in my gut told me this time was different.
“Do you have feelings for her?” I asked.
Bones sat up in his bed, wincing as he shifted his aching body. “I do. It scares the shit out of me.”
“Do you want me to back away? Leave Ari alone? Let you explore what the two of you may have?”
Bones shook his head, a tired smile creeping onto his face. “No. That’s not what I want. You know I could never ask that of you. I mean, shit, Lotto, if it wasn’t for you... I don’t even want to think about where I’d be.” Bones sighed and put his hands behind his head, staring up at the ceiling. “Would you have if I said yes? Would you have walked away from me, too?”
I let out a long breath, running my hand through my hair. “I’m glad you didn’t ask me to. Frankly, I don’t know what I would have done,” I said honestly, a knot forming in my stomach at the mere thought of losing Bones and even Ari. “But I’m glad we’re not in that situation.”
Bones extended his hand to me and pulled me toward him. “There’s no separating us. Ever.”
The way this man looked at me, the way his eyes connected… I wanted nothing more than to end this conversation with my dick in his mouth, but he was exhausted and needed rest.
