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3
MADDIE
It feelslike some sort of dream sequence, like a montage with a foggy filter and prisms of light. Something you’d see in a movie. Ringing fills my ears and the world starts tilting on its axis. I hear Aries’s voice, but it takes me ages to tilt my head to face him. My eyelids feel like they’re covered in syrup, sticking together and impossibly difficult to open. It takes me too long to focus on him, but when I do, I see his lips moving.
I feel my brows lower as I try to make out what he’s saying. He stares at me with an intensity I’ve never experienced before, his dark brown eyes searing me.
His face gets closer to mine, his gaze bouncing around my features before he settles on my eyes. I lick my lips, feeling my heartbeat in my fingertips as I try to understand what he’s asking me. I shake my head a little, a weak attempt at dislodging the fog that’s covering my senses.
Aries runs his lips across my forehead before he steps back and laces our fingers together. His warm palm against mine dissipates a little of the haze as he holds my hand securely in his. I feel my legs moving, my muscles contracting and flexing as Aries guides me down a hall. Lights create shadows against his handsome face as I blindly follow him through the house.
His sharp jaw and regal nose cut an exquisite profile. The small bump on the bridge of his nose is only noticeable from this angle. His brown hair looks dark in the low light, like fresh caramel.
I think once I get through this, I might marvel at the idea of giving up control so wholly, trusting someone to take care of me like this. Like I trusted Leo when he said to find Aries, when he said he’d be fine. But we both knew that was a lie.
I derail that train of thought before it pulls me further away from Aries, where it’s safe.
I'm here, but I'm not really here. I don’t think I’ve ever had an out of body experience before, but somehow that’s the best way to describe what’s happening right now.
Have you ever floated on your back in a pool? Just let go of everything and went weightless, trusting the water to hold you up when everything suggests you should sink. It feels like an in-between place, somewhere that the normal rules of science don’t apply.
When I was in second grade, it was mandatory to take swimming lessons. I was terrified of the water. I can't explain why, only that every fiber of my being was convinced that if I laid back and let go in the water, I would sink.
I would sink all the way down to the bottom, greeted by the darkness with taloned fingers. And no one would get me.
When my teacher told my dad that I refused to do the lessons, he didn’t get mad or ground me like my mom did. He promised to teach me how to swim instead. Every other day, we would visit the pool on the third floor of our building. It wasn't as big as the one at my school, but it was perfect for lessons, or so my dad said.
I clung to my dad like a baby koala the first few times. I remember the fear shaking my limbs, coursing through me so hard that my teeth chattered as he walked us in the pool. With infinite patience, he wrapped his arms around me and assured me that he would never let go. Not until I was ready.
Eventually, he coaxed me into lying flat on my back with his hands underneath my back and my legs to support me. Naturally, I panicked. The feeling of free falling into an endless pool of water, consciously knowing there's nothing to protect you, was too much for me. And as soon as I let that fear get hold, my body buckled. Water rushed in, and I went under. But true to his word. My father was there, arms open and caught me every single time.
Three weeks later, I was waiting patiently outside school for my dad. The babysitter had already picked up Mary and headed home. I had mastered floating, and now we were going to work on swimming.
I was ready to learn how to swim. I was going to figure it out, quicker than floating. I just knew it. I’d been thinking about it all day, what I would do and practicing my even, deep breaths. Dad told me I could do anything I put my mind to, and I trusted him. And I knew that he would catch me if I needed him to. He always did.
I waited for two hours before the babysitter came back for me.
Dad never showed up that day.
We stop inside a darkened hallway, jarring me out of a memory I hadn’t thought about in years. I spare the smallest glance to note we’re tucked in a corner next to a closed door before I resume my perusing.
Aries leans down and speaks quietly by my ear, his lips brushing against the hair by my temple.
I can't quite make out what he's saying over the sound of my blood slamming inside me, but the tenor of his voice is soothing, comforting. Another cloud of haze evaporates, and I blink. More details of our surroundings come into focus. Beige textured walls, crown molding, oil paintings that look real in the dim lighting.
A finger underneath my chin tips it upward, and Aries fills my vision. His salty sea and sweet mint scent wrap around me, reminding me of another time where I was scared. Another party that ended in violence.
“You're in shock, Raven. But you're safe, okay? I have you.”
A familiar feeling washes over me, lifting more of the cloudiness from my mind. I squeeze his hand in mine and lick my lips. My fingers tingle where they once throbbed and I curl them into a fist. The bite of my nails in my palm grounds me further. “Where’s Leo, Aries?”
His lips curl into a breathtaking smile, his eyes shining in the yellow light cast across his face. He slides his hand along my jaw into the hair at the nape of my neck. “There she is. You had me worried for a minute, Raven.”
“I, uh, I’m sorry.” Panic pierces me in the gut, sending words flying fast from my mouth before I even realize it. “Where’s Matteo and Dante? They need to get here so we can get Leo. We can’t leave him, Aries. They’re going to hurt him.”
“Shh, it’s alright. I’m not going to let them just take him, okay?”
“You didn’t see those men. They weren’t good men—”
