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“Another day in the desert.” My voice is as dry as the dust outside.
“Yeah?” he says as if I actually said something interesting. “We ditched today. Everyone ducked out at lunch and went downtown to see the new MOMA exhibit.”
I guarantee no one at Landhower actually cares about seeing the MOMA exhibit. They’re just about doing what’s trendy and expensive.
“What was it?”
“What do you mean?” Luke proves my point.
“What was the exhibit?”
“Oh, I don’t know–I hung out in the cafe with Breon and Tahlia. Did you talk to Lincoln about coming here for Homecoming?”
Fuck. This again.
“Luke, I told you I can’t. My dad still isn’t doing well.”
“Lincoln will be there to take care of him. You have to come–I got a new Armani suit, and it’s going to look sick with you on my arm.”
Luke’s insistence doesn’t pierce my thick layer of emotional indifference.
I suspect it’s that very thing that keeps him interested in me. Like the fact that I don’t care about him or us makes him believe I’m even more special. Even more worth keeping.
When, in fact, the opposite is true.
I have absolutely nothing for this guy. I’m an empty shell.
“Listen, I’m not coming. I think we should break up.”
“What? Why? I thought you said there was no one even worth your time in Scottsdale.”
“Wolf Ridge.” This guy can’t even remember the name of the town I live in. “There isn’t. But there’s no point in you and me staying together. You should ask someone else to the dance.”
“Well, I will. But let’s not break up, yet. I’ll come out there for your Homecoming, and we can talk it over.”
I think of Abe and his insistence on putting me on the Homecoming ballot. I do not understand why everyone is so obsessed with this stupid dance.
“I’m not going to the Homecoming here.”
“I already told everyone we were going together. And I bought the suit.”
Christ. He seriously can’t hear me.
“We’re not going. I don’t want to do this.”
“Lauren, we’ve been together for eighteen months. The least you can do is have the courtesy of breaking up with me in person.”
Oof. That’s probably legit. I know I’ve become a zombie in all my relationships. I do owe Luke more than what I’ve been giving. That’s what he insisted when we started having sex.
My mom was in the middle of chemo, and my dad was a mess. Luke said I was checked out. He said real human connection–through sex–would fix it.
I figured I was going to lose the V-card sooner or later. I thought he might be right. I went through the motions for him, but it meant nothing to me. I see now that I was already losing my ability to feel at that point.
Which is what makes Abe’s effect on me today all the more unusual.
I give a big sigh. “Fine. It’s a week from Saturday. Let me know your travel plans, and I’ll pick you up at the airport.”
“Cool.”
