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“Is this why you lost weight? I thought it was—.”
“Yes.” I rushed because I couldn’t handle it if he said miscarriage. I was barely holding myself together. “Mitchell didn’t want a fat wife.”
My head fell down. My eyes traced the lines on the marble counter. Fat was just one of the many things Mitchell called me. Just one of the many things he used to trap me. No one would want me because I was ugly, fat. No one would blame him for starving his fat wife.
But despite his efforts, I could only lose so much weight. I had hips and breasts. I’d been curvy since I hit puberty. He couldn’t change that.
I gasped as Vander’s fingers circled my chin. I hadn’t heard him. Seen him. I had been too lost in my thoughts. And now I was trapped.
My skin heated as he lifted my gaze to his. “You’re not fat. You’ve always been fucking gorgeous. A goddamn goddess.” The connection was severed as he closed his eyes, a pained expression on his face. But his voice was soft, almost reverent. “The way you looked in that green dress at your engagement party…”
He dropped his touch, turning away, and I felt like he stole my breath as he went. It was like he’d said too much. Like he hadn’t meant to compliment me. And now, he wanted to pretend it hadn’t happened.
This was the Vander I knew. The one who ignored me. Who kept his distance.
I didn’t know the man who’d fucked me in his office. Who married me. Who touched me gently.
I was getting whiplash from the constant change. My mind swirled, trying to figure out who he was. Waiting for the monster to come out.
He placed a new plate in front of me with the food I’d requested. “I never want to see you starving yourself again.”
Any happiness at his gesture shattered at his command. If I knew anything, it was that the orders would keep coming. But they’d change. Become dark. Tear me down until there was nothing left.
“So now it’s time for you to give me your orders. How I can spend your money. Fill my days. How I’ll dress and smile. How I’ll have a baby.” He opened his mouth, but I held up a hand. “No.”
Standing, I shoved the plate away. I didn’t want to see him anymore. Anger and fear burned in my chest. I wouldn’t cave to his demands. I’d rather die than allow myself to be trapped like that again.
Vander looked confused as he stared at me. My hands trembled, but I clenched them. Hiding my anxiety. “I need to explain something I said last night.”
He shook his head, his gaze falling. “I don’t need to hear anymore.”
“Well, too fucking bad, because I need to say it.” My voice was strong, but my insides quivered as those evergreen eyes pierced me. Waiting to see how he would react to my curse. My attempt to assert myself. My entire body shuddered with apprehension.
“I’m sorry if the truth hurt you. I’m sorry if it ruined whatever fantasy you had about your brother. But he was a monster, and I’m not sorry he’s dead. I’m glad to be free of him.”
My exhale shook my chest as I waited for his rage. For the pain. But he only stared as I kept going. “I won’t tell anyone else what happened. Not because I respect you or this family, but because I know the truth would only bring me death.”
He had the audacity to look pained. His eyes twisted with emotions I couldn’t identify. “I would never hurt you.”
The laugh ripped through my chest. Harsh and insistent. “No, I’m sure you’d have someone else do it.”
If I knew anything about the Kents, it was that their reputation was everything. If I spoke up, I’d die, but it would be reported as a tragic accident. No one would ever come looking for me.
Fear exploded in my veins as he rounded the island. My instincts took over, and I stumbled back before he could reach me. My hands shielded my face as I crouched down.
My breaths were quick and shallow. My muscles twitching, waiting to see where the hit would land. But it didn’t come.
“Grace.” His voice was barely a whisper, but laced with so much pain it had my arms lowering. To my surprise, he raised his hands and stopped when he saw the horror on my face.
My name on his lips held so much agony I didn’t know how to respond. I hated myself for showing my fear. For letting him have that power over me. I needed to say what was necessary, then hide. I was good at that.
“That’s not what I meant to say. I need to tell you…” I folded in on myself. My arms wrapped around my stomach as the grief overwhelmed me. “I wanted the baby. Even though it wasn’t my decision to have sex. Nothing in this world mattered more to me than having my baby. And it guts me every day that they didn’t make it. That the last cruel act of my husband was taking that from me.”
“He didn’t—.” My glare was enough to shut his mouth. Vander’s shoulders rounded as he looked at me. His face contorted into sadness.
“No, he wasn’t the hand that ended her life, but he was the reason. They had to kill the heir to the empire.” Anger clawed at my chest as the memories assaulted me.
I remembered Mitchell’s blood on my face. His lifeless eyes as they shot him in front of me. I felt their hands yanking me back as I fought to get away. I felt every single tile step they threw me down. Every bump that killed my child.
