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Her curse pulled a laugh from my lips. Alessandra never cursed. She was a prim and proper Mafia princess.
Her smile widened, and I started to relax. “And sometimes it helps to let someone in. Maybe a man who—.”
I tensed again. “No.”
I didn’t know how she would finish that sentence, but it didn’t matter. I would never let another man in. My marriage to Vander was a contract. A way to keep myself safe. A way to have a baby. That was it.
We weren’t friends. We weren’t lovers. We were only husband and wife in the legal sense.
What happened in his office was a fluke. He gave me permission to go to a clinic, and that’s what I planned to do. We lived as roommates the last year, and we could continue like that.
It had to be like this. Even if I had felt something when I was with him. A flicker of being alive. Being real.
16
Vander
My knuckles tapped the wood before I stepped back quickly. Tension coiled in my body as I waited for it to open. For me to see my favorite sight. Start the best part of my day.
Grace’s stunning face appeared in the doorway. She didn’t smile, but she looked less angry each morning. “Will you come down for breakfast?”
Her mouth pulled into what I called her annoyed grin. “You don’t need to keep asking every day. I get it by now. I know what I’m supposed to do.”
She didn’t sound mad, just pleasantly bothered, as she stepped out into the hall and closed the door behind her. I could deal with annoyed or angry. Even hatred.
It was indifference I didn’t want. Lack of emotion would be the end. But I could turn any feeling into love, eventually. And I had the time. I had all the days of my life like I’d vowed at our wedding.
“It’ll always be a request, never a demand, Sunflower.” Her brows pulled over her eyes, giving me the confused look that covered her face more often than not recently.
She was still waiting for the cold, heartless man I’d been to return. Or perhaps looking for the monster that lurked beneath. He was there. He’d never go away, not when I had the job I did. But he couldn’t have her. I’d never let her see that part of me.
“What are you thinking today?” I asked as she took a seat at the kitchen island.
“Pancakes, please.”
“Chocolate chips?”
“Do you even have to ask anymore?”
I smiled at her simple request. No more diets or egg white omelets. No more starving herself. She was regaining the curves she’d lost. In the two weeks we’d been married, I struggle every day, every hour, not to grab her and run my hands along them.
I fisted my cock each night to the image of them jiggling for me. Dreaming of my fingers digging into her flesh as I slammed inside her. Remembering the sweet moans and soul-shattering screams she’d made.
I’d hear them again, even if it was the last fucking thing I did on this earth.
I didn’t think I’d have to wait that long. Not if the way Grace’s eyes tracked me around the room was any indication. I wore my usual outfit of jeans and a black T-shirt. Some guys like to wear suits. Maybe it made them feel big and bad. Or they wanted to flaunt their money, but I liked the freedom of casual clothes.
I shamelessly and subtly flexed my muscles as I flipped the pan, tossing a pancake in the air and catching it. Grace’s tongue ran along her lower lip, but she wasn’t looking at the food. Maybe I should spill syrup, so I had to take my shirt off. I should be ashamed of my antics, but I’d do whatever it took to have her again.
The dinging of the elevator interrupted my chaotic thoughts. Grace straightened, turning towards the opening doors. “Were you expecting someone?”
Her tone and posture were at ease until a man stepped inside. Instantly, her shoulders stiffened. Her smile cracked, reforming into the fake one I hated.
Fuck. I should’ve told her right away.
I held up a hand to Mike, and he stopped in the hall. I circled around the island, standing between Grace and the elevator. Her eyes flicked to mine. Those deep blue orbs flooded with fear.
Unable to stop myself, I reached for her. I’d kept my hands off her for two entire weeks. I was back to yearning for her. Wishing I could touch her with freedom.
