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Even if it meant pouring my heart out. Something that did not come naturally to me.
“You loved him. We’re blinded by our love for people.” There was nothing but understanding in her tone. None of the shame that lived in me. “You can’t blame yourself.”
“What…” Bile rose in my throat. I swallowed it down, but not the question that caused it. “What if he knew? What if he did this because he knew I wanted Grace? And he wanted to ruin her. Keep me away.”
“Vander.” My head shot up at the anger in her voice. Did she see it now? The darkness in me. The reasons I should let Grace go.
But I couldn’t. Because I was just as sick as my brother. I needed her here, even if she hated me. Even if I spent my life drowning in my guilt. It was better than not seeing her. Hearing her. Protecting her.
“No offense, but get the fuck over yourself.”
My eyes widened, and my mouth fell open in shock. Alessandra didn’t swear. Or yell.
And no one spoke to me like that. Despite Angelo being nicknamed the Angel of Death, I was just as ruthless. I could kill as easily as him without a drop of the guilt I felt for not saving Grace.
“This isn’t about that.” She said. “I agree you need to deal with your relationship with Mitchell. But he was a bastard. He was always going to hurt his wife, whether it was Grace or someone else. Your feelings for her were irrelevant. This isn’t about you.”
Okay, maybe this wasn’t as bad as I expected. Because that was exactly what I needed. Someone to call me out. Someone to tell me I was a fucking idiot.
She was right. He was a piece of shit. I didn’t cause this. But I could fix it.
“What do I do? How can I make her believe I’m not him?”
Alessandra’s eyes softened. “You’re not him. Forget about Mitchell. If he was never there, if you’d just met Grace, what would you have done?”
I leaned back in the chair. My head rested on the fabric as I looked up. I remembered that first night before I’d known who she was.
Even then, I’d seen her in a wedding dress. I’d imagined babies and smiles. A family. A home.
I jumped up, an idea forming in my mind. Alessandra blinked as I ripped the door open. “I would have loved her. I would have given her everything.”
25
Grace
Itoyed with the diamond necklace. Like the ring on my finger, it felt heavy. An anchor tying me to this man. This life that I didn’t want.
I resisted the urge to fidget as we drove through the city. Snow flurries blew in the breeze out the windows. I could barely breathe because everything seemed so familiar.
I was in another limo. Attending another charity event, where I had to put on the fake smile. Pretend I was okay. That I wasn’t married to a murderer.
Losing the battle to my nerves, I brushed down the skirt of my deep blue dress. It was so different from the things I’d used to wear.
Delicate lace adorned the top and long sleeves. But it was tight, showing off my curves until it flared out at my hips. The bottom was flowy and light. A slit up the side stopped just before my scars started on my thighs.
It was bold and beautiful.
And wrong.
I felt exposed. I was making a mistake wearing this. Thinking I could be this person. Someone who made her own choices. Who wore a tight dress because she felt pretty.
Vander grasped my hand, and my heart jumped in my chest. I waited for the shout. The punishment. To be told, I was too fat to wear this dress. That I was ugly. Stupid.
His lips curved into a smile as he brought my palm to them. “You look beautiful tonight.”
The air rushed from my lungs. I managed a breathy, “Thanks.”
He didn’t let my hand go, and tingles raced up my arm. They scattered across my skin, making my nipples tight and my thighs clench. Vander’s attention fell to the movement.
