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He pressed a slow, sweet kiss to my lips that had me chasing after him. “You’re mine, now. And forever.”
I love you.
The words bubbled up inside me, but I didn’t say them. I was too scared.
Instead, I brought our lips back together. Showing him what I was afraid to say. Because the last man that possessed that power over me tried to use it to ruin me.
And I already knew Vander could. Even without the words, he could do what Mitchell had never been able to.
Eviscerate me.
39
Grace
The smile on my face wasn’t forced or faked. It was genuine as Isla clutched a blue baby blanket to her chest, tearing up as she thanked Alessandra for the present. Happiness for her was pouring out of me as I handed her another gift to open.
“Thank you. I’m too big to bend over and reach them.” She chuckled, but guilt slid through my veins. My smile wavered as she grabbed the bag from my hands.
As she tore into the tissue paper, I excused myself, walking past the small group that comprised only family: Cole and Alessandra, Nathan, Joyce, Angelo, of course, and Vander.
Our friends from other crime families, like Tessa and Zara, couldn’t make it because of my last-minute planning. It was the same reason Isla wasn’t able to reach her gifts. She was nine months pregnant at her baby shower because I’d let my own grief stop me from celebrating her.
In Angelo’s kitchen, I arranged blue frosted cookies onto a plate just to have something to do with my hands. I hated myself a little bit right now. Isla deserved so much more than this thrown-together party. Then, the silly blue balloons and streamers.
There should’ve been a fun theme with food and drinks that went with it. Not simple sandwiches and salads. All the work I put in to make Angelo’s dark house inviting didn’t seem like enough.
“Hey, you okay?” Isla’s voice cut into my thoughts, making the guilt triple. Now, she’d left her own pitiful party to check on me.
“I’m fine.” My lips struggled to smile again. “I’m sorry for planning this so late.”
“Please, you were busy.” She waved her hand in the air before pouring more lemonade into a pitcher. Moving around like she was also trying to distract herself.
She said nothing else, and I let the silence fall. But it didn’t stop the twisting of my gut. We worked for a few moments until the sound of her sniffle drew my attention.
Her display of emotion felt like a slap. I rushed to close the distance between us, wrapping my arms around her. Her huge stomach stopped us from fully hugging. “I’m so sorry. I’m a terrible friend.”
“What?” She moved back, swiping at her tears.
“For planning this late. For not having everyone here to celebrate you. If I’d—.”
“Stop it.” Her stern face had my mouth snapping shut. “I’m crying because I’m happy. I’ve never had anyone plan a party for me before. Someone close enough to me who would want to do it. Or people to come.” She shrugged like her words weren’t hitting straight to my heart. “Friends, you know? I’m just so goddamn happy I have friends and family. That this baby will have people.”
My chest ached because I knew what she meant. I’d had twenty-some birthdays pass without a party, with no one caring. Holidays and school events where the audience was empty of anyone for me.
“Yeah, I know what you mean.” Tears slid from my eyes because she was that person for me now. She and Vander and this family. They were my family, too. In a way they never had been when I was married to Mitchell.
He kept me separate, so I couldn’t tell my secret. So I could hide the bruises and pain. But Vander didn’t want me to hide; he wanted me to heal. He gave me this.
Isla wrapped her arms around me and we hugged each other. We stood there for a long time, neither of us ready to let go, until Nathan appeared.
“I’ve been asked to summon you,” he said unemotionally, but his brows furrowed as he witnessed us hugging and crying. “I believe we require your presence, as this event is focused on the fetus you’re carrying.”
My lips rolled together to stifle my chuckle as Isla turned to him, letting me go. “We’ll be right there.” She looped her arm through mine, leading me after Nathan towards the patio again. “Sorry about the tears. Pregnancy hormones are a bitch.” She bumped her hip with mine, almost knocking me over with her extra weight. “What’s your excuse?”
We laughed as I stumbled, but recovered. “I’m just really happy.”
It was true. In this moment, I experienced pure joy. And it wasn’t hard to figure out the reason. The ring on my finger didn’t feel like an anchor weighing me down. Instead, it lifted me up.
