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Another sigh escaped as I placed my cup next to the others. Seeing them all lined up brought a smile to my lips. I should get a summer one. Maybe that would brighten my mood. Something with flowers or the colors of the sunset.
I was already peeling off my shirt as I walked into my bedroom. I tossed it near my hamper as I headed towards the bathroom, missing the simplicity of scrubs. I had to look presentable for a classroom. Teaching a bunch of undergraduates, half of whom won’t make it to med school, all about working in a hospital.
It’s a new class the college was offering. Brad and my parents encouraged me to take the job after the incident. Now, I wished I’d given myself more time to consider it.
Steam from the shower was already filling the bathroom when I stripped off the rest of my clothes. I stepped inside the tub, letting the hot water beat away my thoughts.
My jaw clenched in anger as I thought about Brad. But I was mostly mad at myself. I’d chosen him for the wrong reasons. I needed to pick someone my parents would like. Someone intelligent and handsome with a good job.
Maybe I also wanted to find someone to love me. To give me attention. Affection.
The pain of being ignored, of never being enough, was too great. It tore at my insides. Shredded my heart. I craved being chosen first. To be a vital part of someone’s life.
But it hadn’t worked. It only left me feeling emptier. Because he never chose me either. Work was always more important. He was too busy chasing the next investment to worry about me. Or other women.
I grabbed a strawberry face wash from the little rack attached to the shower wall. The small seeds scrubbed off my makeup; hopefully, I’d feel more like myself when it was gone. I didn’t need to wear makeup at the hospital.
The red scrub clung to my hands. I watched it spin down the drain. The sight sent me back to a week ago. Washing blood off my skin.
Maybe that would freak some people out, especially considering how suspicious they’d acted. But when I’d left Luminescence after patching up my savior, I felt… alive. More like myself than I had in weeks.
I’d relished the adrenaline pumping through my veins. Savored the feeling of being useful. Of helping.
I wondered if he was okay. If they’d taken the stitches out. If I was destined to spend the rest of my life chasing that high.
8
Nathan
My chest constricted as I watched Lark leave her bathroom wrapped only in a towel. My stomach tumbled, the feeling unfamiliar as I tapped the screen. Something warm spread through my veins as I tried to make her image bigger.
But the capabilities of my tablet limited what I could do. Using my thumb, I scrolled, my eyes skimming over her from the tip of her pink-painted toenails. Up her smooth golden legs.
I felt my heart beating faster as her hands grasped the knot of the towel between her breasts. My mouth went dry watching her tug it loose. My—.
“Nathan.” Vander’s voice had me jerking in my seat, rushing to tap the screen to turn it black.
My gaze shot to his, and I blinked, trying to figure out why he was staring at me. They all were. Vander, Cole, and my other brother Angelo. He was taller and had darker hair than Cole or I. He stood against the wall in Vander’s office, half in the shadows to hide the burn scars on his face.
“The numbers,” Cole said, jolting me back to the present.
Our weekly meeting was to discuss our profits, the amount of dirty money we’d been able to filter through our clubs and hotels, and our investment accounts. Meetings were easier when we used to live together. Now, we traveled to Vander’s house on the edge of the city. Not as secluded as Angelo’s, but still far enough to be inconvenient.
“Yes.” I cleared my throat, trying to wash away this unsatisfied feeling. It was like an itch that I needed to scratch. A persistent hum. It was driving me insane. “My predicted numbers are right on track with the business we’re doing. We should be able to increase the amount that is filtered through Luminescence.”
I tapped the tablet, clearing the camera feeds and pulling up the spreadsheets. I turned it towards them as I flicked through my predictions and charts. But it didn’t give me the usual sense of pride. Or satisfaction. Or calm.
My stitches pulled when I leaned forward to show them another graph. I should’ve removed them. It had been too long.
But she’d put them in.
“Looks good.” Vander nodded. “I have one more thing I’d like to discuss. Aaron McCabe.”
A growl came from Angelo’s corner while Cole sat straighter in his chair.
Sayton City was home to three crime syndicates. The Vancinis. We had an alliance with them through Alessandra, Cole’s wife, who was their leader’s sister.
The Gallos. Zara, their former Capo’s daughters, had once been engaged to Angelo, but things hadn’t worked out. Despite that, they’d held up their end of the marriage contract.
