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My eyes fell to the simple black evening gown. The sleeves were long and billowing, connecting to the back like a cape. A belt at the waist cinched the dress in, making the top pooch out. The skirt had a lot of folds and pleats. It reminded me of Princess Leia, but not in a good way.
My mother had picked it out. She called it ‘flattering’, but even then it sounded like a back-handed compliment. Like she was calling me fat. I had curves, more on the bottom than the top, so I wasn’t balanced. And I was short, but it didn’t bother me.
Not until she looked at me with disappointment. I had my father’s frame, not her slim figure. Just another way I’d let her down. We had to be above reproach and being curvy made me stand out.
I’d worked hard to not allow her comments and worries to get to me. But on nights like tonight, it would creep back in. Shake my confidence. Being with Nathan only intensified those fears.
I was smoothing down my dress when I heard a knock at the door. The shapewear dug into my sides as I rushed from the bathroom to answer. I lost what little breath I had when I saw Nathan on the other side.
If I thought he was cute in casual clothes, he was panty dropping hot in a tux. His hair was swept back, held in place by just a small amount of product. His face was clean shaven, showing off his sharp jaw. He wore a simple black tux, but the way it fit him told me it was custom made. And he looked good in it.
“Hi.” My voice was breathy.
I felt my panties dampen as he stared at me with those devastating blue eyes. My mouth watered as I imagined taking off that suit later. Seeing his bow tie undone and draping down his chest. A couple of buttons open at the collar, exposing his neck. And his hair ruffled like I’d run my fingers through it.
“Is that what you’re wearing?” My fantasy popped as he tilted his head. His eyes raked down my body like he was examining a science experiment.
“Yes.” Annoyance crept up my spine as I tugged at the high neckline of my outfit.
Brad used to do the same thing when we attended these events. He was the reason I still wore this dress because whenever I’d tried to pick out one that was more my style, he’d say something that made me feel self conscious.
The color clashed with my skin tone. It wasn’t appropriate. It was too tight. Or too short.
It turned out that was all the things he liked. Just not on me. But I’d found the half naked pictures of women on his phone.
I wasn’t sure why I expected Nathan to be different. He was a Kent after all, one of the city’s most eligible bachelors. Even if nobody else knew that he was a criminal. That his entire family’s money came from illegal business. He still had an appearance to uphold.
But I said nothing as I reached for my beaded bag on the side table. Nathan’s strong fingers wrapped around my wrist before I could grab it. An electric shock burst through my body. I cursed my reaction to him, especially now when he was being rude.
“You don’t like it.” My brows scrunched as I looked up at him. He was so close I could see the different shades of blue that made up his irises. “The dress.”
“Of course, I do.”
“No, you don’t.” His thumb swept over my pulse and I didn’t think it was his touch that had my heart jumping to an unsteady rhythm. “You keep pulling at the neck.”
I dropped the hand that was doing just that. “Why does it matter?”
“You should wear what you feel comfortable in. What you like.”
My stomach tumbled. I wasn’t used to someone being able to see through me. Or having someone who cared how I felt.
I swallowed down a renewed bout of nerves. “We’ll be late if I change.”
He shrugged, stepping back. “To my understanding, these things never start on time. There’s an hour of mindless conversation during cocktails. We have time. Especially if it’s going to make you more comfortable.”
My skin was suddenly cold now that he wasn’t touching me. But his words were like a warm blanket wrapping around my chest. “You don’t mind waiting?”
“Of course not.” I stood still for a moment. Blinking at him like he was an alien.
A rush of sadness washed over me. How crazy was it that this little recognition of my comfort felt more loving than anything Brad had ever done for me? That Nathan was more emotionally connected to me than my family was.
Pressing my lips together, I bit down on the surge of emotions. My throat was tight as I walked back into the bedroom. As I opened my closet, red fabric caught my attention. I slipped out of my black dress and stifling shapewear. I grasped the outfit that was calling to me and put it on instead.
It was a formal red dress with a corset bodice, pushing up my average cleavage. The sleeves were off the shoulder, just thin straps draping over my biceps. The skirt gathered at my waist, hiding the little extra weight I carried there. It tightened as it went down, hugging my round ass.
I’d bought it for tonight. Even had it altered to my shorter frame. But at the last second, I’d grabbed my standard black dress. Putting this on, I felt my confidence coming back. I felt like myself again.
Funny how it had taken someone else to make me realize how much I’d been submitting to other people’s feelings. Their desires. Their comfort instead of my own.
