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“Nope, no buts, just you and Shadow heading to the castle as quickly as you can.” She’s still smiling, but something about her tone is off, not as carefree as it was a moment ago.
For a girl so small, she’s damn strong.
She pushes me onto Shadow’s back even as I protest. “I can’t ride a horse!” I shout before she can cut me off again.
“Psh, you don’t need to do anything silly. Shadow is a smart boy.” She steps up to him, nuzzling his face. “Aren’t you so smart, Shadow? Yes, you are, and you’re going to take Serena to the castle, aren’t you? Yes, you are!” There’s no denying she’s talking to the horse this time, her voice high-pitched once again.
“See, Shadow has it covered, nothing to worry about.”
Somehow I don’t feel much better, but I don’t get to say as much before Theo reaches out and slaps Shadow’s butt.
He takes off, and I scramble to hold on as I lurch back, almost falling off after only a half second of trying to ride.
So much for nothing to worry about.
“See you later, Serena!” Theo shouts from behind me. It takes some maneuvering, but I manage to look back. I'm determined to give her a dirty look for this, but she’s gone.
Huh, strange.
I don’t have time to dwell on it for long, though. Shadow hits a turn faster than I’m ready for, and I need all my focus to stay up on his back.
I don’t know how far away the castle is, but I get the feeling it’s going to be a long day.
Today has taught me so many things I could have gone my whole life without knowing.
Like the fact that I’m terrible at riding a horse, it’s not a skill I’d ever thought I would need. Learning had never even crossed my mind between cars and my beast. Finding myself in a new world that not only doesn’t have cars but has fucked up my ability to even feel my beast wasn’t a concern until now, of course.
Hollywood makes it look easy. You just hop up and pull the little straps, give the horse a little push with your heels, and off you go. That couldn’t be farther from the truth, though. Mounting the damn thing was a whole task in itself, let alone making it go once I was up there, not to mention the countless times it almost threw me off or took me out with a low-hanging tree branch. There’s no way to be sure, but I’d bet money this horse doesn’t like me very much. There is no way it’s this hard for everyone when this is their main means of transportation.
What’s worse than the horse is the loss of my beast.
I’ve never had a day in my life where she wasn’t there. From the first moment I can remember waking up in the woods all those years ago, she was there. She forced the shift and comforted me while I was scared and alone. Not having her now, I feel like I’m missing something, as if a whole part of me is empty.
I pull the horse’s reins as it heads toward the woods again, hoping to get it back on the path. Of course, that does nothing. The stupid thing ignores me, choosing to continue into the woods. I don’t have the energy to fight with it, though, so I let the reins fall with a huff.
“Stupid horse,” I mutter, and it snorts almost in reply.
Weird.
We make it past a few trees, just far enough into the forest that I can’t see the path before the asshole stops and starts eating the grass. It’s the last straw. I hop off his back, or I try to, at least. I hadn’t realized how tall horses were before, but they’re beasts in their own right. I drop down, and my knees almost give out, making me groan aloud before I start back toward the path. The horse can stay in the forest for all I care; I’ll walk. At this rate, it will be not only faster but easier, too.
I only make it a few steps before I’m hit with a wave of pain so intense I have to grit my teeth from screaming. I squeeze my eyes closed and try to breathe through it, but every breath is harder than the last.
Something warm and soft pushes up against my hand, and it takes my foggy brain a moment to realize it’s Shadow. He whinnies as I whimper, the pain growing more and more intense by the second. It came so fast I can’t pinpoint it, but it spreads to my whole body in just a moment, becoming all-consuming.
“It’s… it’s okay, boy.” I force the words out to try and comfort him, but I doubt he buys them. Even for a horse, he’s smart, and there’s no hiding the pain in my voice.
Shadow nudges me to the left, and I go, putting my faith in him that he won’t lead me off a ledge or into a lake. The five steps it takes to reach the tree he’s guided me toward feel like they took a lifetime. It’s as if I just ran for days, but I’m grateful for it as I all but collapse.
Sweat slides down my face and neck, making my hair stick to me. I’m hot and cold, and the world feels like it’s spinning too quickly. Pressing my back against the tree, I used it to slide down and sit on the ground, unsure how much longer my feet will hold me. Sitting does little good, but I force my eyes open, hoping to stop this dizzy feeling.
I can’t help but gasp at the sight before me the second I do.
My shadows are everywhere.
I’ve had them come out a few times now. I never really know what triggers them, and the guys dealt with them when I had a nightmare, but every time, they make me panic. I don’t know how to control them, whether they will hurt someone or what they are. Everything about them terrifies me because they are unknown. In the same way people fear the darkness because it’s not the dark we fear but the unknown—the possibility of what could be.
This time is different, though. Seeing them settles me, and while the pain in my head doesn’t recede, I breathe a little easier, knowing I’m not alone, at least not entirely.
