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Now, I wasn’t just in another state but an entirely different realm. The thought of something happening to him while I was gone had been weighing on me since I woke up to find so much time had passed while I was unconscious.
Thankfully, Rosalynn seemed to understand rather than take offense to me for wanting to leave, as I feared she would. Honestly, I should have known better. She isn’t the type to be offended by something like that; she understands the importance of family. She’s not far off from my adoptive parents. She also took me in when she didn’t have to. I might have been an orphan just like the rest, but there’s no denying I was different. I was supposed to be their enemy, but she never saw me that way.
Thankfully, she didn’t adopt me, blood or not. I don’t love the idea of being mated to someone who was my brother. Actually, when I think about it, I’m not sure that’s something they even do here.
Either way, it doesn’t matter. What does matter is that my concerns weren’t as pressing as I thought, as time between the realms doesn’t work the same. I don’t understand it one hundred percent, even after the queen and Garrett tried to explain it. Basically, time moves faster here. Garrett has spent the last fifty years looking for me and, in the last twenty, hasn’t been back. But it had only been a little over ten in the other realm. So it’s like a five-to-one ratio, I guess, or at least that’s what Sol said. I’m not surprised he understood it.
At least someone did.
It doesn’t help that I’m already having a hard time keeping everything straight outside of that. Sometimes, I call this realm my home; other times, I say the other is.
The problem is that both feel like home while also not feeling like home.
Like I said, it’s confusing.
I feel like two parts of me have been smashed together, and I don’t know how the pieces fit. I have memories from both realms, with both the guys and Garrett, but even in my mind, it feels like two separate lifetimes.
I rub at my temples, feeling a headache coming on.
“You alright?” Garrett asks, startling me from my thoughts.
Damn, I hadn’t realized how close he was or how deep in my head I was.
“Yeah,” I say, dropping my hands and plastering a smile on my face to try to assure him. It feels fake, and I can tell by the look in his eyes that he doesn’t buy it. “Sorry. It’s just a lot. My mind is on overload trying to catch up, and every time I turn around, I feel like there’s more.”
I blow out a breath of annoyance before taking a deep breath to try to reset myself. Garrett had asked if we could talk while the queen tested the guys’ control over the elements. I agreed because I know we need to, and it got me out.
The guys spent most of the last few days up my ass. I understand they’re worried, but if I spent one more day in that bed or stuck in Garrett’s room, I would lose it.
Now we’re halfway to the lake, and I haven’t said a word because I’m too busy worrying about everything else. That’s not fair to him, especially when he’s done nothing but be patient and understanding with me.
One thing at a time.
I tell myself before pushing it all aside to deal with later.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be so in my head,” I tell him, and this time, my smile comes a little easier as I look at him and the surrounding forest. Despite all the crazy, I can’t help but feel comfortable here with him. My memories might be a mess, but there’s no denying that this place was always one of my favorites, something that Garrett clearly remembered.
“It’s okay to not be okay, you know,” Garrett says, bumping my shoulder with his, and I can’t help but laugh. Even after years apart, being around him feels right and easy. It might take a minute to get used to the mate bond again, but I struggled with that even when we were younger. It had nothing to do with him and everything to do with who I am, and that hasn’t changed. If anything, it only continues to complicate things.
But our friendship, built over the years, comes as natural as breathing.
“I know things are a lot right now, but we’ll figure it out. I don’t have all the answers, as much as I wish I did, but I don’t need them. I have faith in you, in us, in all of us.”
At some point, we’d stopped walking. He stands at my side, and when I turn to face him, I see the truth in his eyes. He isn’t just saying this to make me feel better; he thinks we will be okay, and something about his confidence makes me want to believe it, too.
The guys had been assholes to him in the beginning, and while I get them wanting to protect me, I would understand if he was upset about it. I’d probably be upset if I were him. Instead, he seems to have accepted them, and while he and Lyle drive me insane with how often they argue, Lyle tends to have that effect on people.
My emotions get the better of me, and before I can stop and think about it, I fling myself at him. He doesn’t so much as stumble as I slam into him, but I feel the rumble in his chest, and I know it’s his beast. His beast has always been a bit of an asshole, an alpha if you will, because that’s exactly what he is, the last of his kind. Not to mention the next in line to be the king, as if he needed another reason to think he’s the greatest.
I can’t help but laugh, both from his wyvern’s rumbling and the pure bliss I feel being back here, with him, in his arms, where I know I belong. My laughter quickly morphs into tears, and try as I might, I can’t make them stop.
Fuck, I hate crying.
Garrett holds me tighter to his chest, which only makes it worse. I cry until I don’t have any tears left, for the years lost with him and the fear I felt that day when we were ripped apart. I cry for the years he’s been alone while I was completely unaware of his existence. This isn’t what mates are supposed to be, and he deserves better than me. He always has.
“I don’t want anyone else,” he whispers, running a hand through my hair. I didn’t mean to say that aloud, but it’s too late now. “Mates aren’t about deserving someone, Rena. That’s not for us to decide. The gods gave us each other because they knew we needed each other and would fit together. I don’t care if I had to look for you for the rest of my life. I would have, happily. You could have never remembered me. I would have just had to make you love me again, and I would have because no realm, power, or throne is more important than you are. I’ll argue with Lyle until we’re old and gray. He isn’t going anywhere, and I sure as hell ain’t either.”
He pulls back a bit, and I reluctantly let him, though I only want him to keep me in his arms. His large hands cup my face, gently wiping away my tears with his thumbs.
