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She turns on me, her sunhat and oversized sunglasses hiding most of her expression. “So, are you finally going to tell me what happened with Ethan?”
Forty-Three
My lips part and my stomach twists. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, what happened at the party? I saw him break away from the others to go look for you. I can only imagine why.”
A million thoughts swirl through my brain. “Are you going to tell me what that conversation was between you and Cooper?” I deflect.
“It was nothing.” Her reply is so careful that I know she’s bullshitting me.
“Didn’t look like nothing.” I sink further into my lounger, hoping that if my face is red right now, it just looks like I got too much sun.
I’m avoiding her questions. I tell myself it’s because I hate keeping secrets, but I have good reason to keep them. Sure, a better person would tell her everything. I know she deserves the truth, even if my past with Ethan is going to stay there. But at the end of the day, she was engaged to Ethan. She knew his body the way I did, his heart too. Maybe even more so because they had years of history. And she also knows the pain he leaves in his wake.
I don’t want to be the one to drudge all that up again.
“If you must know, I was telling him to keep his family away from ours,” she says, pulling her sunhat further down on her forehead. “So what about you and Ethan? What did he want?”
“He told me about the affair.” I let out a little wince.
Her shoulders tense but her voice softens. “Fuck, why can’t they just let it go?”
“He thought I deserved to know the truth.” And honestly, I agree. It’s not my business but it’s also my family, and if everyone else already knows about what happened, it’s helpful for me to know too. At least this way I won’t accidentally put my foot in my mouth and say the wrong thing.
“I guess so . . .”
“It’s all over though, right? Your dad hasn’t done anything else?”
“It’s over, but I kinda doubt things will ever go back to the way they were before. Too much has changed. Sometimes I feel like I was Dorothy on the yellow brick road and believed my dad was this all-powerful wizard who had all the magic. But once I saw behind the curtain and knew who he really was, that it was all a bunch of smoke and mirrors and he was a flawed man like the rest of them, I couldn’t go back to believing in him the way I used to.”
“Shit,” I mutter. “That’s sad. I’m sorry.”
She shrugs. “I think Mom feels the same way. Why do you think she’s so into therapy? Ever since that whole thing came out it’s been her life’s mission to keep this family together. At least she’s been successful at it.”
“I don’t know what to say.”
“What is there to say? It sucks. Dad made a huge mistake, Mom forgave him, and eventually Hayes and I did too. Chandler . . . nobody told Chandler.”
I guess I can understand that. I had preconceived notions about Down syndrome when I met Chandler, but the truth was I didn’t really ever get to spend a significant amount of time with someone who had it until I was introduced to my sweet cousin. He’s the same as other people in a lot of ways, but in others, he’s undeniably different. There are limitations to what he can process. He lives a full life in his own way. The family keeping this information from him probably isn’t because he can’t take it but because they don’t want him to have to.
“I’m glad things worked out,” I say softly.
She nods. “Well, you know my father. He’s not a shitty person, he just did a shitty thing. He’s actually got a really good heart. Anyway, it’s all over now.”
But I can’t help but wonder if that’s true.
Of course it’s over with Victoria King because she passed away, but what if there are other women? And what if she’d never died, would he still be fooling around with her in secret? And if that was the case, would Sybil and Ethan be married by now? Or maybe something else would’ve happened. Maybe Victoria and Gregory would’ve left their spouses to be together. If things had happened differently, there’s a good chance that I never would’ve found my family. I wouldn’t even be here right now.
I ask the question I’ve been dying to ask, the one that makes me feel like I’m walking on the sharp edge of a blade. “Do you ever regret what their affair did to your engagement?”
“No.” Her answer is immediate.
I sit up, turning to face her and swinging my legs over the edge of my lounge chair. Her answer feels like the most important one of this entire conversation. “Why not?”
She sits up too, facing me. Our knees rub together but neither of us shifts away. The scent of her spicy-sweet perfume mixed with the sunscreen we applied earlier wafts between us. “Ethan and I would’ve ended up like our parents.”
My eyebrows pop up. “Cheating on each other?”
