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“I don’t want to live without you either.” My words come out in a choking sob. He was under that water for so long, I really thought he was gone. I was so close to throwing myself into that water to go after him. I probably would’ve drowned if I had.
We both almost lost our lives that night. And we can’t forget who actually did. And who else was hurt.
“How’s Cooper?” I ask and he steps back, his eyes pained.
“Cooper lost the leg.”
My heart falls. I knew this was coming but we hadn’t discussed it yet. Confirmation doesn’t make it any easier. “I’m so sorry.”
“Me too. If Gregory wasn’t already dead, I swear I’d kill him.”
Speaking ill of the dead is taboo but I completely understand his anger. “I don’t know what came over him. He found out about us, and he saw you guys out there and he just lost his mind. Everything got out of hand so quickly.”
“The only redemption that piece of shit has is that he died trying to save my brother,” he grits out. “But he’s still responsible for the leg. He crushed it with his fucking boat and changed Cooper’s life forever.”
“He broke Sybil’s arm too. It’s in a cast but it will heal. Amelia, Chandler, and Hayes are okay though. They got a little banged up but they’re okay. And so am I. Nothing is broken.” I suck my lip between my lips and grimace. “But that doesn’t change the fact that my uncle is gone.”
He pulls me into a hug again and I can feel his heart pounding against his breastbone. He really was terrified he lost me. I know exactly how that feels.
How am I going to break up with him? It seems impossible, but I don’t know what else I can do. Shaking, I step out of his embrace and peer up into his troubled eyes. I just have to say it. “Ethan, we can’t do this. It’s over.”
Fifty-Six
Iexpect his eyes to go cold, for his jaw to set in harsh lines, for him to dismiss me. He does none of that. “No,” he states, like it’s simple. “We’re not breaking up.”
I let out a pained laugh. “It’s not up to you. This is my decision.”
I seem to reach him this time, because his expression falls.
“I just got you back, we’ve been through a terrible trauma, and I can’t lose you again.” He drags the palms of his hands up his cheeks. “Fuck!”
I briefly close my eyes because I get exactly how he feels, but it doesn’t change what happened. Maybe we could’ve found a way to make this work before the boating accident, but now it’s impossible. The pain between the Kings and the Laurences is too much. I have to choose which way to break my heart. “It’s either I get you or I get my family. What am I supposed to do?”
“I’m your family now too. The kind you chose.”
And he is family to me because I love him. But I also love Chandler and Amelia and Sybil and Hayes. This is the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make. I swipe away the tears that splash down my face. I thought I’d cried myself out at the funeral. How wrong I was.
“And what about your family? What about Cooper? Your father? They’re not going to want us to be together either after what happened to Coop’s leg. It’s too much.”
“I don’t fucking care what they want,” he growls.
But that’s not true. He loves Cooper. What if Cooper is like Sybil and blames me for what happened? The man lost his leg for Christ’s sake. He’ll never be able to look me in the eye again. Our relationship will put a rift between the brothers, and I can’t do that to Ethan. I don’t want to be the reason he ends up estranged from the one person who was born to be his best friend.
“No,” he states again, emphatically. He takes my hands between his and tugs me against his chest again. “Kiss me and tell me that we’re not meant to be together. You have to mean it. Because Arden, nobody has ever made me feel even close to the way you make me feel.”
“You’re making this too hard.”
He leans down, his lips brushing away the tears from my cheeks with sweet kisses. He’s the only person who can make me feel better and I hate that I have to give him up. Doesn’t he understand the stakes? But then his mouth is on mine and damn it if I don’t kiss him right back. I gasp into him and he takes the opportunity to slide his tongue inside, deepening the kiss. This is a battle and he’s determined to prove how much he cares.
But he doesn’t have to prove anything. I already know our love is real. That’s not the problem.
I should leave, should force him away, but I don’t have the strength.
One last time, I decide. It will be our goodbye.
He carries me to his bedroom and lays me down on a soft gray comforter. I sink into it, my hair fanning around me in a halo. He crawls over me, peeling off my black layers one by one—the heels, the pantyhose, the dress, the black panties and matching bra.
I’m usually vocal during sex but right now I can’t speak. If I do, he’ll know how greedy I’m being by letting this happen. How broken I’ve become.
