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“I need to show you two something,” Amelia announces, sweeping into the apartment and setting a thin piece of printer paper on the coffee table. “Hayes has already read it.”
Sybil is closer and grabs it first, her eyes scanning the print. They widen as her hand flies to her mouth. She exchanges a glance with her mother, who nods, and then she hands the paper to me with trembling fingers.
It looks like an email exchange and I scan the email addresses first. This is correspondence between my uncle and a Massachusetts social worker. This time my hands are the ones that tremble as I read the words, immediately understanding the significance they hold.
To Mr. and Mrs. Laurence,
I have been trying to contact you for some time, but my calls are being screened. I’m writing to inform you that your niece, Arden Davis, has been taken into state custody. Unfortunately, Arden’s mother has passed away and we don’t have information on her father. We’re seeking next of kin to take custody of Arden. She’s a darling one-year-old in need of a loving family. Please respond immediately so we can discuss the details.
Sincerely,
Stacy Peirce
Child Protection Caseworker
To Ms. Peirce,
My wife and I have talked it over at length and have decided it’s best to leave Arden in your custody. Arden’s mother was a drug addict who caused us a lot of pain and we’ve since moved on with our lives. We have no doubt that Arden will have been born addicted to drugs and will have special needs, which we are not prepared to accommodate. We already have two children, one of which was born with special needs of his own. As much as we hope Arden gets the care she deserves, we need to do what is best for the children already in our home. Please do not contact us again or I will be forced to file a harassment claim against your office.
Best Wishes,
Gregory Laurence
Best wishes? Those words hit me like a punch to the gut.
I’ve never been the most confident kid. Growing up in the system can take whatever spark you have and stomp it out. When my family found me, that spark started to light again, and even with everything that happened, that spark was still there inside of me. But now? Now that spark is extinguished.
I sink to the floor and hang my head between my knees.
They never wanted me.
The puzzle pieces fall into place and the picture isn’t pretty. They would’ve happily gone on with their lives, never acknowledging my existence at all if I hadn’t showed up at the Kings and been recognized. It’s only because their rivals found out about me that my aunt and uncle changed their minds.
I can’t say I blame them—they had their work cut out for them already but the rejection still stings.
And the lies still feel like someone is twisting a knife into my back.
Amelia sits down in front of me, gently placing her hands on my knees. “Arden, I need you to look at me.”
Shame doesn’t want me to do that. Shame wants me to run away and never look at Amelia Laurence again. I can’t let shame win so I gaze up at her, but not before schooling my features into a mask of indifference.
Her watery green eyes stare into mine, intent and focused. “I swear on my life, I never knew you existed back then. That email my husband wrote all those years ago was full of lies. Had I known about you, I would’ve taken you in and raised you as my own.”
I believe her. Maybe that’s naive, but she’s more earnest than I’ve ever seen her.
“Uncle Gregory thought I was a crack baby.” My voice is hollow. “He didn’t want to raise me. And you know what? I probably was born addicted to drugs. I don’t know the specifics about my history, but it makes sense doesn’t it? I’m not like you guys. I’m too small. And my anxiety?—”
“Anxiety runs in the family,” she interrupts. “And even if you would’ve had special needs, I still would’ve loved you like my own. Actually, I would’ve loved you even more because you would’ve needed me even more. Ask Hayes and Sybil, they understand why we all love Chandler the most.”
A tear slips down my cheek.
“My sister had issues, but does that mean I didn’t love her? Of course not. I loved Josie fiercely. When she ran away for the last time, I spent months looking for her. I even hired a private investigator, but she’d disappeared.”
Because she was living in a drug house and changed her name. She didn’t want to be found. Maybe she was pregnant by then, maybe not. But she’d raised me there until she’d overdosed and I had to be placed into state custody. Honestly, it’s a miracle that I’m alive. I know all this and I’m grateful to be here, but that doesn’t take away the hurt.
“I’m so angry at her that sometimes I hate her,” I confess.
Her face drops and she nods. “I know, honey. And it’s not your fault. What she did was wrong, but she also wasn’t in her right mind. There’s no excuse but if you had known the girl I knew, you’d know that she loved you.”
