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Not completely a lie, but not quite the truth, either.
“Ah. I’m sorry that you didn’t get to have that kind of life.”
“Me, too.”
“We should probably head back home now. I don’t want to risk anyone seeing us out here.”
Home. I ponder the meaning of that word as we walk back. Have I ever truly had a home? Will I ever?
Surely, Zephiro’s cottage isn’t my home. I tell myself it isn’t, but at the same time, isn’t it the only place I’ve ever felt safe? And isn’t that what a home is?
Doubt takes over my mind as I wonder if running away would be the right thing to do. I’ve never truly been free, and I’m certainly not free here with Zephiro. So the question is, do I give up my search for the freedom I’ve always wanted and give in to my desires?
Or do I keep fighting?
The next night, Zephiro and I are getting ready for bed. He pulls out a baby blue nightgown for me before disappearing into the bathroom while I change.
I’ve noticed that he’s been much less affectionate towards me since our time at the river. In fact, he hasn’t even touched me in a sexual manner once since that day. I’m not really sure how I feel about this, having very much enjoyed what we did.
I’d be lying if I say I haven’t been craving his touch, as much as I hate to admit it. It’s confusing to me. I don’t know what to think of my attraction toward him, other than the fact that it’s definitely wrong.
Zephiro interrupts my thoughts as he comes out of the bathroom. Just moments later, we’re snuggled up in bed together.
As I toss and turn, unable to sleep, I realize that there’s a reason why I’m so antsy. I also realize that there’s something I can do about it. I turn towards Zephiro, checking to see if he’s still awake. His eyes are closed, but his breathing doesn’t appear deep enough for sleep yet.
I scoot closer to him and reach out my hand, touching his arm. I’m not really sure how to ask him for what I want. I’ve never been the one to initiate intimacy with anyone before.
His eyes fly open at my touch, and for a moment, we just stare at each other. As I look into his deep black eyes, I start to realize that somewhere along the way, my feelings toward him drastically changed.
The longer we lie here looking at each other, the more I want him and the more conflicted I am. Why is my body betraying me like this? How is it even possible for me to grow feelings toward this monster, despite how unexpectedly kind he has been toward me?
I prop myself up on an elbow and lean my face towards his until our lips are mere centimeters away. I pause, unsure if this is the right thing to do. But something deep inside of me pushes me to do it.
I press my lips into his, savoring the touch. I breathe in that earthy scent of him that reminds me so much of the forest on a rainy day. We lie here like this for a moment, kissing, until I’m desperate for more.
Pulling away, I sit up in bed. I grab the hem of my nightgown and pull it up until I’m out of it, casting it to the side. I peek back at him, feeling shy all of a sudden.
He sits up beside me, and I turn towards him. Something about this feels even more intimate than at the river. Maybe it’s because this time, I’m admitting that I actually want this. Not just to myself but to him as well.
He reaches out, grazing his fingers over my stomach before cupping my breast in his hand. Even these small touches drive me crazy, and I know that I need him tonight.
I put my hands on his shoulders and swing a leg over his lap until I’m straddling him. In this position, his cock rests right against me, driving me even more insane.
I push him down into the bed and hover over him, my nipples resting against his chest.
“You’re so sexy,” he whispers.
Lust flickers in his eyes, and he grabs my face, bringing it to his so our lips can touch once more. This kiss is much fiercer and urgent than the last, and I know that both of us are running out of patience.
I grind into him, needing some sort of friction to tide me over.
“Please,” I whisper.
“Please what?” He grins up at me.
“I need you…” I whisper, casting my eyes downward out of embarrassment.
He grabs my chin and lifts it so that I’m forced to look at him, before opening his mouth to speak.
