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“So you do like her more than normal.”
“She’s Adam’s sister, and Veronica used to babysit her.”
“She’s too young for you.”
“She’s an adult, and I should say the same for you when it comes to Rose. Don’t think I didn’t see you eye-fucking her while pretending to play pool.” I open the door and then remember something. “Didn’t you fuck her sister?”
“I wasn’t eye-fucking her, and that is none of your business.”
“Trying to keep it in the family. That’s messed up. But who am I to judge?”
“Says the guy who’s fucked half the chicks at school. Scratch that. The school and the chicks at Ohio State.”
He makes me feel like I’m a monster, but I hate that he isn’t wrong. The first step to a problem is admitting you have one, and I do. I’m just not sure if it’s a problem in general anymore or if it has turned into an obsession over one particular girl.
“I haven’t—” I begin to protest.
"Lately," Garret interrupts, leaning casually against his sports car.
The back door of Babylon swings open, and Rose emerges, wearing an expression that could curdle milk.
“What’s up with the face, Rose? Bad day torturing people,” Garret teases.
“Why? Do you want to be next?” she retorts sharply.
“I can find plenty of ways you can torture me... ways you might like,” Garret taunts.
She walks up to him and gives him a scrutinizing once-over. I like her. She reminds me of the type of girl who doesn’t put up with shit. The kind of girl Melody was when I first saw her. But where Rose’s eyes shine with a sardonic brilliance aimed at Garret, Melody’s holds a pain. It is a pain that reminds me of Jess when I first met her.
When I look at the pain in Melody’s eyes, it releases the evil I hide behind every joke and smile. Darkness no one sees coming.
After class, instead of the quad, I find myself inside the library on campus. After Rose sent me the picture of Valen with Melissa at the bar, I knew I needed to stay away from him as much as I could. It meant not going anywhere where I might run into him. It meant avoiding him in every possible way.
I knew he wouldn’t stop bothering me. He wasn’t going to stop trying because that is human nature. To want something you haven’t had is only made worse if you know you can’t have it. I’m not trying to play hard to get or anything. I’m trying to get over him. Get over the attraction and the way he makes me feel.
I don’t have much experience with guys, and the experience I do have isn’t great. I thought of dropping out of school and moving somewhere. Away from my parents' judgment and start over. But it’s easier said than done. I went to the financial aid office early this morning, and they said what I assumed. What I feared. I would owe them eighty thousand dollars, even if I supposedly had a scholarship. Some crap about my spot could have been given to someone else.
I looked at the lady behind the computer, wanting to punch her in the face because I knew it meant that they couldn’t give it to another underprivileged student the rich assholes couldn’t play a game with. This is how they strong-armed you into staying. The trap they set is to make sure you don’t leave.
I look at the wood-carved gargoyles on the corner of each aisle and wonder how old this place really is.
My thoughts are interrupted. “Hey, is anyone sitting here?”
A guy with dark hair and darker eyes wearing a Kenyan black hoodie that reads Swim or Drown is staring at me, waiting for me to respond.
“No,” I say, gesturing to the seat in front of me.
He smiles and takes a seat, taking out a history book and notebook. “You’re Melody, right?” he asks.
Surprised, I nod. “How do you...?”
“I saw you sitting with Garret and Valen by the courtyard once. My name is Jeremy, by the way.”
I pointed at his sweater. “You’re on the swim team.”
He nods. “Yeah. I’m a junior.”
“Freshman.”
