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“I know. I’m sorry. My schedule’s been nuts.”
“Are you getting excited for the wedding?”
We spent the next several minutes discussing the details of her dress, which Phina had shipped to her last week so she could handle the alterations in Oregon.
“I don’t think I’m going to wear the shoes Dina sent. They’re a little too pointy.”
“Her name’s Phina, Mom, not Dina. Short for Seraphina.”
“Oh. Gosh, I hope I didn’t call her the wrong name when we spoke on the phone.”
My mom didn’t have a mean bone in her body but she often rambled without a filter. “Josette made you an appointment to get your hair touched up when you get here.”
“Touched up?”
“Highlights and a trim.”
“Do I need all that?”
“I want to treat you. You’ll have fun.”
“A New York salon? They must charge a fortune.”
“It’s fine, Mom. I said it’s my treat.”
“Rayne, you sound a little stressed. Is everything all right?”
I debated bringing up my father and decided now was not the right time, but impulse was a bully and my common sense tended to be a big, fat wimp. “Why didn’t you tell me Daddy got remarried.”
The line silenced. “Where did that come from?”
“Did you know?”
“Yes, I knew. Honey, your father and I haven’t been together for nearly thirty years.”
“Did you know he has other children?” Silence. “Mom?”
She sighed. “Have you been talking to him?”
She knew. She knew and she kept it from me. “We had lunch the other day.”
“Oh, Rayne.”
“What? Why is that a bad thing? He’s my father. I’m allowed to have a relationship with him.”
“Of course you are, but I know your father and I know what he’s like.”
She couldn’t know him that well. “You haven’t been in his life for thirty years, Mom.”
“Well, I’m in yours. I know you, Rayne. You always see the best in people and then you’re devastated when they disappoint you.”
“What’s been disappointing is not having a father in my life. You should have told me he had another family.”
“That wouldn’t have made a difference, Rayne. It only would have made you question yourself more, and his actions have always had nothing to do with you. Oh, I wish you would have told me you were thinking of contacting him.” She sounded so certain that my choice had been a bad one.
“Why can’t you be happy for me? We’re finally connecting.”
“Your father’s a complicated man, sweetie. He’s not the most dependable person and he can be very selfish. I just don’t want you to get hurt.”
