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His question stole my breath and I drew back. I reflexively prepared to say no, but my mind went back to this morning. Barrett had been naked and I had been missing some of my clothes, neither of us could remember anything beyond getting in a car with the karaoke guy.
“Hale—”
“Answer the question, Rayne.”
Ice formed around my heart. “There’s a lot I can’t remember, but I have to believe that neither I nor Barrett would ever do that to you.”
My vision blurred as I waited for him to say he agreed, that he knew I wouldn’t betray him like that. That he trusted me.
“Hale…” His silence gutted me. The lump in my throat moved higher and a tear fell past my lashes. “Don’t you trust me?”
“Are you attracted to him?”
“What?” I dashed away another tear. “Hale, he’s your brother?—”
“I’m perfectly aware of who he is. That doesn’t answer my question. Are. You. Attracted to him?”
I sniffled and shook my head. “No.”
He exhaled and looked away. “Why did you go after him last night, when I specifically told you not to?”
“I didn’t. Not purposefully. I left and ran into him by accident.”
“What were you running from?”
Never in my life had I wanted someone to hold me so badly, but I knew he wouldn’t touch me until he understood the full situation. There was so much to unpack.
“Last night…” I stalled, not knowing where to start. “Everything was fine until…”
He cleared his throat and frowned. “I was out of line. The thought of anything or anyone taking you from me…” His hand tightened into a fist. “I can’t fucking lose you, Rayne. I hate how terrified the mere thought of it makes me, but there you have it.”
“I love you, Hale. Only you.”
“I know that. But I also know how women see Barrett. He’s always been the fun one. The easy-going one. I realize how difficult I can be. I know I’m not easy and I like things a certain way, but…”
It was like reaching into the cage of a starved lion. I moved slowly, desperately needing to touch him. The moment I placed my hand on his back he sighed and his shoulders rounded. He pressed his fist to his lips and his face pinched tight. That was when I realized how hard he was trying not to cry.
“Hale, I’m so sorry. For everything. You’re not difficult. To me, you’re perfect. I’m the one who messed up.”
“Stop.” He shook his head, rejecting my words. “Last night, when I couldn’t find you, I was certain I’d gone too far. My temper… My jealousy…” His gaze swept back to me and he glared. “But then I find the two of you in a hotel room together and I don’t know what to think.”
“Hale.” I closed the distance and dropped to my knees, laying my head in his lap. “There is nothing between me and Barrett. I swear to you. Please trust that my heart belongs to you and only you.”
I’d beg. I’d do whatever needed to happen to erase the last twelve hours. He didn’t touch me and his indifference destroyed me.
“You just left me there, Rayne. You didn’t say anything. You forgot your purse, your phone. It was our rehearsal dinner. It was supposed to be perfect.”
“I’m never going to be able to deliver perfect, Hale.”
“Fuck perfect. I just need you. I was worried sick when I realized you were gone. I couldn’t reach you. I had no clue where you went or when you were coming back. I thought…” He sucked in a hard breath. “I thought I lost you.”
His love and concern broke through all we’d ruined like the light of a new day and I clung to that tiny wisp of hope. “You didn’t lose me. You have me. I was scared. I acted terribly. Sometimes, I do things without thinking and?—”
“And then to find you all the way in Brooklyn,” he said in a cold accusatory tone that stomped out my flicker of hope.
“I’m sorry.” I wiped my eyes. “I shouldn’t have run away like that. I panicked.”
“If you’re having second thoughts about getting married tell me now. I deserve to know.”
