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8
KAYLA
i hope ur miserable until ur dead - Nessa Barrett
“We should tend to those nasty wounds of yours, shouldn’t we?”
Emma has been gone for what feels like forever, my lifelong work with her, when Nate walks back into the basement. He didn’t leave me in the dark this time, but the harsh light has been forcing me to keep my eyes shut anyway.
“You let her take my home.” I force myself to look up at him, my eyelids becoming heavier by the second.
I don’t know how much longer I can stay conscious. I’m exhausted, mentally drained, body battered, and my adrenaline has run out completely.
The corner of his mouth tips up as he crosses his arms over his chest. “Well, pretty Kayla, you didn’t really live there anymore, did you?”
I don’t even say that he let her take Ivan’s street too, and I can’t go back there either. That’s not his point. His point is to show me he knows what I’ve been up to.
Reality hits me in the face, my chest tightening. Flashes of Ivan’s body falling to the ground, mixed with all the times he’s made me smile and laugh, all the times he took care of me, showed me how much I meant to him.
“You killed him,” I rasp.
Squatting in front of me, he takes my chin between his thumb and forefinger. “Think really hard. Are you sad because I killed your little boyfriend? Because you loved him? Or are you sad because the things he provided are gone?” His blank voice turns smug. “You’re not the kind of woman who gets attached to the nice feelings a boyfriend can give you, little sunflower. You were with him because you’re a smart woman who would do anything to get to the top.”
He caresses my cheek, making me wince, but I don’t have the strength to try to get out of his hold.
“And I don’t want you at the top, do you understand? I want you weak and deprived of everything you’ve been wanting for your entire life. You took everything from me, and I’m taking everything from you. That’s how the game works. I took away the money from the robbery, I took away your dealing spots, I took the power your crew had, your town, your streets, your fucking house. And I took away your useless boyfriend.”
Comparing a human life to the lifeless things he stole from me is exactly how Nate’s brain works. A plate, a jacket, a man…it’s all the same to him.
He shakes my head slightly, like he’s disappointed by my lack of reaction. A cat can’t toy with its mouse when the mouse plays dead.
But I need time to process. The pit in my stomach is infinite. I’m drowning in the realization that he’s back and intent on making me suffer.
For how long?
What are my chances of surviving this?
I’ve escaped death many times, but there are things worse than death. Being in Nate’s clutches is one of them.
“Come on, Kay.” He gently shakes my lifeless head again. “You and I get to play again.” There’s a slight intonation of excitement in his voice when he talks about ruining me. “It’s fun.” He cocks an eyebrow. “Plus, it’s not like you and Ivan were crazy in love. You fucked twice a month, at best.”
My heart drops as my eyes search his. “H-how long have you been spying on me?”
“Me personally? Five months.” His honesty is brutal. “Sam? A little bit longer. I had to make sure you weren’t getting those letters from the prosecutor asking you to come testify again. Or the ones telling you I was out.”
Panic seizes me unlike anything I’ve known before. It’s something only Nate can make me feel.
Pure, unadulterated fear.
I pull at my wrists, my heart ready to jump out of my chest. This is perfectly planned. I can’t win when he’s God-knows how many steps ahead. He said it himself, there’s more to come. All that happened till now was simply what he needed to get out of the way.
I shift my legs, desperate to find any way out of this fucking nightmare.
“What do you want?” I pant, my skin raw from the ropes. “What do you fucking want?” I finally move my head out of his hold, eyes darting around the room for anything that could help.
There’s nothing but gray walls and concrete down here.
“Let me go, Nate.” My lungs freeze, and I gasp my next breath. “Fuck…fuck…let me go!”
