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Not open to trying again either.
I don’t want to say that Liv is someone I use to get my dick wet but there’s no other way to explain it.
I’m attracted to her and she’s a fucking siren in my midst to blur the lines of reality.
“This won’t go anywhere,” I tell her as gently and calmly as I can, dropping my grip on her arm. “I’m not the one you’re going to want to spend the rest of your life with.”
“You a mind reader now? Because that sounds awfully stupid of you to say if you’re not.”
“I’m not looking to date. I’m not—” I blow out an exasperated and aggravated sigh. “I’m not trying to hurt you.”
She lifts her shoulders dismissively, clearly not taking what I’m saying seriously. “Okay. I understand what this is?—”
“It’s not like that,” I argue even though, if you write it down on paper, it’s exactly that.
We’re friends with benefits, and using the word friend is reaching.
I don’t know what Liv is to me other than the obvious. And I don’t want to abruptly shut her down and never touch her again just to get things back on track to where I’m going to crush her.
It’s the last thing I want.
“Hudson,” Liv begins. “I’m not stupid. And I’m not looking for anything either.”
“You should.”
Her blue eyes sliver. “I should, what? Do exactly what my mother wants me to do and get married? To be in a useless relationship when I don’t want to be? Is that the norm? Am I stupid? Is it if you’re not in a relationship that you’re suddenly some loser? That it’s not enough? Then I’m a loser, Hudson. Because I don’t want a boyfriend. I don’t want to answer to anyone. I don’t need you or anyone else to make me happy.”
“I’m not saying that,” I argue. “I know you don’t need me or any other douchebag?—”
“But I can’t have fun without a title,” she clips back through a scowl. “And I obviously can’t fuck you without getting attached.”
Geezus fucking Christ.
“Opie, you’re beautiful and smart?—”
“I know and I don’t need you to compliment me.”
“I’m not trying to get you upset,” I retort, fully aware that I just dug a hole in what I was trying to accomplish here. “I just don’t want to hurt you. That’s all.” I raise my palms in the air. “I just wanted to be perfectly clear. I didn’t want us to get weird.”
Liv stares at me for a long time before giving me a curt nod. “Alright. What could get any weirder than this conversation?”
“The fact that if we continue to fuck, I don’t want you fucking anyone else.”
One of her brows rises to the sky. “Sounds awful possessive and boyfriend-like.”
“See what I mean?”
“Yeah,” she replies flatly. “However, if I find out you started fucking someone else tomorrow, I’d feel a certain type of way about it.”
My body relaxes a little bit, but it still hangs in the air that I could upset her, and I don’t want to. “Same.”
Liv steps forward, lifting her chin to still catch my gaze. “So, I guess I don’t need to worry about doing what I want to do then?”
My brows knit. “What do you mean?”
She slowly lowers herself onto her haunches and puts her face right in front of my crotch. “No more second-guessing if you want me or not.”
“I don’t think that’s something you need to be worrying about just yet.” Her small fingers reach for the button of my wet jeans and start unclasping it.
