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“Ginevra!” Mrs. Pontrelli chastises her daughter. “I’m ashamed of you.”
The girl rolls her eyes. “Oh come on, Mama, it was just a bit of fun.” She tosses me my wallet. “Sorry,” her tone is anything but apologetic.
Even so, I nod, putting my wallet safely away in my trousers pocket this time instead of my suit jacket.
The interactions with the rest of Arianna’s family goes more smoothly. Sophia is polite as always, and Roman claps me on the back in greeting.
I do a double-take when two redheads walk into the room with the scarred up man I recognize as Cian O’Rourke, head of the Irish mob. The women’s features are so similar that I can’t tell them apart. Identical twins.
Arianna introduces us. “These are my cousins, Ravenna and Elena. I’m sure you’ve met Ravenna’s husband Cian.”
He gives me a curt nod, which I return before murmuring a greeting to Arianna’s cousins.
“Come now, dinner is served.” Mrs. Pontrelli wraps her arm around mine, which earns her a scowl from Mr. Pontrelli. “You will sit next to me, young man. I want to know all about my new son-in-law.”
I hold back a groan. Arianna warned me not to be fooled by her mother’s sweet nature, beneath it she’s a real battle axe. Whereas Mr. Pontrelli’s bark is supposed to be worse than his bite. I haven’t made up my mind about which of them is the real threat.
I sit between Mrs. Pontrelli and Arianna, with Roman and Sophia opposite of us. Christmas Eve dinner is a true feast, but casual, family style. Everyone passes around the dishes and helps serve each other. There’s a quiet familiarity about it. The conversations focus on general life updates and news, flowing easily around the table.
Quietly eating the delicious food, I watch and listen, feeling like an outsider. They’re so relaxed and easygoing with one another. Even Roman and Cian—two of the most intimidating men in the city.
Family.
It’s practically a foreign word to me. My uncle brought me back to America with him, but by that time his wife had passed. He was never a warm family type man. Even to his own son, Nik, he kept a certain emotional distance. Which might be partly why Nik betrayed us all. Daddy issues? Though I’m the wrong person to be throwing that accusation around.
I don’t remember my mother, and when I think of my father I see the lie he lived. Our home was a rundown apartment, so brutally cold in the winter months because we couldn’t afford the heat. Yet my father wore expensive suits and always had money to bet at the tables, or the races, or on fights.
He was often around, but never really present. It was like he and I lived two completely separate lives. Mine consisted of threadbare clothes and gruel, while he brushed shoulders with powerful men every night.
Mrs. Pontrelli taps her wine glass and raises it in the air. “Thank you all for spending Christmas Eve with us. It’s a pleasure to see you all together at least once a year. Here’s to family.”
“To family,” everyone echoes, sipping from their glasses. I down the contents of my own in one go, which Mrs. Pontrelli promptly refills.
“Thank you,” I say and she smiles warmly.
As the evening wears on, I can spot the differences more easily between the twins. Ravenna is outgoing and charming. She has a feisty side to her that reminds me of Arianna. Cian seems to enjoy that aspect of his wife, his eyes light with a pride every time Ravenna speaks passionately about a topic. She has a lot of opinions.
Elena is the opposite of her sister. She’s as quiet as I am. She keeps to herself, her shoulders slightly curved as if she’s protecting herself from the entire outside world. Troubled. That’s the word I’d use to describe her.
Troubled in a completely different way than Ginevra who continuously makes snarky comments. She’s loud and boisterous. She seems to especially love goading Roman, of all people. Her attempts to get a rise out of him fail of course, but she’s determined, only to simmer down when both Sophia and Arianna get on her case.
Their sibling squabble makes my lips twitch with amusement.
This is the kind of family that I’ve secretly dreamed of having all my life. I always wanted brothers and sisters. When I first met my cousin Nikolai, I thought I was going to gain a brother, but we never got on that well. Maks and I were always closer.
Holiday dinners with my uncle and cousin were somber affairs. I was always grateful for the food and comfortable home, but compared to this family, my own lacked warmth and that sense of really belonging.
I never really saw the stark contrast until this moment, surrounded by these people. Arianna’s family—not mine. Though some day they might become mine too. Yeah, when Hell freezes over.
I’ve done absolutely nothing to earn my way into this family. I’m sure they all hate me, like Mr. Pontrelli does. He shoots me another glare as if to reinforce my thoughts.
Once dessert is served, I breathe a little easier. This ordeal will come to an end soon enough and we’ll be on our way out of here. Then I’ll no longer be intruding on their hospitality, and their home—where I don’t belong.
Arianna takes my hand and squeezes it under the table. She’s been a pillar of strength beside me all evening. I glance at her beautiful face and I’m hit in the chest with a feeling I often have—unworthiness. She’s too fucking good for me and we both know it.
I try to shake off the dreadful sensation that gnaws at my stomach. She’s mine for now. I want her so badly, but I don’t know how to be worthy enough to keep her.
Mrs. Pontrelli shifts toward me, eyeing me over her port glass. “Mr. Kozlov, you are the newest addition to our family, and given the circumstances around your marriage to our daughter we’re uncertain how long you’ll be one of us. Understandably so, don’t you think?”
