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To Be Seen
Issac had always made people come to him. He never approached, never engaged, and was never the person to close the gap. Until that moment. Felinus’s words had barely left his lips when Issac kissed him. It was as raw as he felt, desperate, needy. Last night, Issac had initiated a kiss as an act of defiance and an attempt to gain some control in bed. This was not that. There was no control in this.
Felinus kissed him back, meeting him for every push to go deeper and pulling him all the closer on the futon couch.
Issac felt his pants grow tight as he shifted closer, feeling a second hardness press between his legs. As a kid in the foster system, he had been told something was wrong with him in more ways than he cared to remember. The one that had always stuck out to him was the horrified face of a girl whose name he no longer remembered after he told her, calmly and matter-of-factly, that the men who came to the school assembly that day had all killed men before. She had tried to run to the teacher to call the police. Issac had pulled her back down and told her that just because they had killed people didn’t mean they weren’t capable of doing the topic of the assembly. He remembered she told him he was wrong to think killers could be anything but bad men.
When he got older, he thought maybe all the people were right, that there was something wrong with him. At twenty-five, he wondered that again as he felt the hands that had nearly crushed his throat, slide up his shirt and moaned with pleasure.
Does it really matter,a small voice that was more German sounding than Issac’s accent asked him. You aren’t ever going to escape this world. You’ve run and run and run and it always leads right back to where you were running from. At least here, you are seen. Not as a weirdo freak, not as a troublemaker, not as the slut who’d blow anyone for a dollar, not even as the innocent bookworm. He sees Issac and now he knows what that means.
Issac gasped as Felinus pulled his shirt off, breaking the kiss and wrapping his fingers around his neck, gently, affectionately.
“What are you thinking about, baby boy,” he asked softly, staring up at him.
Issac’s fingers hooked on the knot of Felinus’s tie and tugged downward until it came off. “That I should be afraid of you,” he breathed as he pulled on the smooth fabric.
“Most men are,” Felinus said, not stopping Issac, fingers brushing gently against the many marks on Issac’s neck.
“They should be,” Issac told him, looking him in the eye as he dropped the tie on the couch next to them, paper crinkling at the weight. “You are dangerous.”
“But you aren’t afraid of me,” he said, his pupils so wide they almost stole the hazel from his eyes as Issac slowly unbuttoned the top of his shirt.
“No,” Issac admitted, pulling fabric further apart with each button.
“Because you think I won’t hurt you?” he asked, his hands lowering to Issac’s hips.
“No,” Issac said, not looking away from those eyes. “I know you were going to kill me if you didn’t get the answers you wanted. I know that you would still kill me if I was a threat to you, your men, or the Family. Without hesitation.”
A breath escaped Felinus’s lips as his eyes widened and Issac knew he understood that he wasn’t being told what Issac thought he wanted to hear, but what Issac truly believed. “That should scare you, baby boy,” he whispered. “It would scare anyone.”
“It should,” Issac agreed. “Any sane person would be afraid of you seeing and knowing what I know.” He leaned forward and kissed the pale skin of Felinus’s neck, feeling him shudder and gasp softly. “But I’m not. So I must be insane, right?”
Felinus’s hands wrapped around Issac, one around his waist, the other spread across the back of his neck. He let out another gasp as Issac kissed his neck again. “No, baby boy,” he said. “Just cut from a very different cloth than the rest of us. It makes you special, not insane.”
Issac’s teeth pressed gently, experimentally, against Felinus’s skin and hips bucked towards him, Felinus’s pulse throbbing rapidly as Issac’s tongue rolled over it. “Take me to bed, Felinus,” he breathed.
* * *
Felinus woke up to a cold bed and reached without opening his eyes for the small form that had been sharing it with him. It was a big bed but Felinus had long arms. He sat up when he found nothing. Outside the city lights cast a dim glow into the room, allowing him to see not only that the bed was indeed empty but Issac wasn’t in the room with him either. Discarded clothes were scattered across the floor where they had fallen and there was no light or movement in the bathroom or closet.
He swore as he got out of bed and walked out of the room without dressing, stopping only to check his alerts for the elevator. He had multiple text messages, from his brother and his men that at a glance looked as if they were trying to figure out if he needed to dispose of a body without saying it as well as some veiled criticism from Brutus about throwing them out.
Snake’s notifications didn’t even give him a preview due to the volume the hacker had sent. On some level, Felinus felt bad about that. If Issac had told him the truth before they had gone to bed, then Snake would be able to confirm at least some of it. Snake was probably going crazy not being able to clear Issac. At the same time, if Issac had lied and was a threat, Snake would also know that, and the notifications would be additional information to hang Issac on. Either way, the Korean-Italian really wasn’t fit for things like this. Seong liked his information laid out and neatly arranged before anyone acted, carefully planned out with every reasonable variable accounted for. He didn’t have a problem with the killing of rats, but the idea of going in half-blind was not how he operated. Issac’s situation hadn’t allowed Seong to do any of that, and Felinus would need to make it up to him eventually.
There was only one notification for the elevator to his apartment when the four of them had left.
Good,he thought grimly looking into the closet he had made Issac’s office as he passed. Then he’s not-
He stopped as he stepped into the main living space of his apartment.
Issac looked like a ghost as he sat on the floor in front of the wall of windows, his knees to his chest. He had a spoon in one hand and a small tub of ice cream in the other. The fact that he was eating anything unprompted almost made Felinus forget that it was three in the morning and his concern that Issac was able to slip out of bed without waking Felinus up.
“There’s a couch facing that way literally five feet to your left,” Felinus said quietly as he walked over to where Issac sat.
Issac’s shoulders twitched in surprise then relaxed as he pulled the spoon slowly from his lips. “I know,” he said softly, not looking away from the city outside.
“You have this same view from your windows,” he pointed out, standing behind Issac and looking down at him.
