AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“All of the ingredients for joen should still be up in Felinus’s apartment right upstairs,” Seong said mildly and Thomas lifted his head, narrowing his eyes when Seong grinned at him. “You are very food motivated.”
“Only when it’s good food,” he grumbled, managing to untangle himself. He was a bit relieved to see he was still wearing his shorts and t-shirt. He paused as he caught sight of his arms, looking down at them, remembering how Mateo had stared at them.
Seong’s fingers slid up Thomas’s arms, covering the scars and gently pushing them down. “You are more than these, Thomas,” he murmured. “They are not your value.”
“Right,” he breathed, swallowing and looking around. “Whatever happened to my phone? I should probably email my aunts some explanation before they find out from someone else.”
“Hm, Bat had it last,” Seong said, looking around. “It got… sticky. I should have realized he had it when I saw your watch.”
“It’s fine,” Thomas sighed, rubbing at his neck and looking up at the ceiling. “Issac will probably let me use his computer to email them.”
* * *
Issac led Thomas into his office, stretching his arms as he sat down on the couch that Felinus usually occupied when they were both working from home. “Go ahead,” he said, gesturing to the computer, watching the young man carefully.
Thomas looked tired, more reserved than he had been in months. Expected but concerning, given what Issac knew about the situation from Felinus’s brief explanation last night. “Thanks again, Issac,” he said, sitting down and shaking the mouse to wake it up. “I shouldn’t long.”
“Take your time,” Issac told him, folding his legs. “They’ll bring us something to eat, trust me.”
Thomas chuckled, inhaling the smells of what was supposed to be their “family” dinner last night. “That was a lot of food they were pulling out,” he commented.
“Italians don’t do anything food related half-assed,” Issac chuckled, running his fingers through his hair. It was getting long. He’d have to get a hair cut sooner or later, but the length had opened up some… interesting uses. Though if Bianca made one more snide remark about his hair, he’d probably drag her out by hers. Fucking homophobic housewife bullshit, he thought bitterly.
“I bet not,” Thomas commented, typing on the keyboard. “They-” He broke off as the screen changed. “Huh,” he breathed, his shoulders dropping.
“Thomas,” Issac asked, starting to rise, his own interpersonal dramas immediately forgotten. “What’s wrong?”
“I’m… single,” he said without any power behind it.
Issac froze.
Slowly, the chair turned to face him. Thomas stared at him, confusion rather than the pain or anger Issac had expected on his face. “Shouldn’t… shouldn’t I feel bad about that,” he asked, his voice hollow. “Shouldn’t I be upset?”
Issac stared back at him, then finished standing up. “How do you feel?”
Thomas’s green eyes stared at him, hardly having to tilt it up to look Issac in the eyes. “…Relieved? Happy?” His eyes darted one way then the other before focusing back on him. “Like it’s one less thing to do?”
Issac sighed, walking over to Thomas and putting his hand on his shoulder. “I’m not really the person to ask about how to handle relationships,” he said, glancing past his shoulder to the wall of text of an email titled quite bluntly “WE’RE OVER.” He frowned, silently taking back all the nice things he had thought about Danny. He looked back to Thomas. “I think, though, if that’s how you feel, then it’s probably a sign it should have happened a while ago. Have you two been having problems?”
Thomas’s eyes dropped, looking away from Issac. “I- I thought we were fine,” he said softly. “But…” He looked up at Issac. “Can I ask you something personal?”
Issac smiled. “You know you don’t have to ask me that. Just ask.”
Thomas swallowed. “How does Felinus make you feel? When you see him? When he walks through the door?”
“Hm.” Issac thought for a moment. He knew how he felt, but knowing it and putting it into words wasn’t the same thing. “…Safe,” he said finally, smiling at the irony as he glanced at the wall that Felinus had once pinned him to, ready to crush his throat. “He makes me feel safe.”
Green eyes dropped down again, fingers twisting over themselves. “D-Danny d-didn’t make me feel safe,” he said softly.
“I don’t think a normal relationship requires that feeling, Thomas,” Issac pointed out. “Unless you mean you felt unsafe with him?”
His head shook. “Not unsafe. Just… he used to make me smile. Every time he smiled, I’d smile. I’d feel my heart start to race whenever I saw him, even when we had only just met-”
“…But,” Issac asked when Thomas broke off.
He swallowed. “But it never felt like it was enough,” he said, his voice cracking. “Like he wasn’t enough. Like he could only be there for part of me, the part he liked.” His shoulders hunched, hands tugging at his sleeves. “I thought that was fine because he didn’t have to see the other parts… Then he did and…” He looked over his shoulder. “He didn’t like what he saw.”
Issac sighed, barely needing to bend his knees to look Thomas in his eyes as he took his chin in his fingers and turned it back to him. “Do you know the first time I knew I loved Felinus,” he asked him.
