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“Never.”
“Never. And I don’t plan to start anytime soon.”
I just stare at her for a long moment, her long hair blocking out the light behind us like a curtain and trailing down her arm.
God, she’s beautiful. I’ve never forgotten that as a finite truth, but it’s different when I’m staring it in the face, staring at her face. Her wide eyes and button nose, the small bow at the top of her lips.
“I missed you,” I tell her, not having planned to say the words out loud but feeling it so deeply that I’m practically compelled to. “God, Gabi…” Using my good hand, I caress the side of her face, stroking my thumb along the apple of her cheek. “I missed everything about you.”
Something passes between us then, something deep and emotional and charged with all the feelings that have been brought to the surface since I returned home six weeks ago.
And then, before I can react, before I can even think, Gabi leans in and presses her lips to mine.
chapter sixteen
Gabi
I don’t know what makes me kiss Bishop…except the fact that I can’t not.
I can feel the surprise in his body, in his quick inhale of breath before our lips touch. Hell, I’m just as surprised, but then I can’t be anything but wrapped up in him as our mouths open and his tongue dips and tangles with mine.
There’s familiarity in the motion, but then his hand flexes where it was resting on my neck. Bishop grips me and guides our kiss with much more confidence than he did when we were younger. He nibbles gently at my lips, and I moan, feeling a pulsing low in my belly.
Almost on autopilot, I rise up to my knees and shift my weight, swinging one of my legs over where he sits then settling in on Bishop’s lap. I can feel him, hard and thick beneath his jeans, and I grind down on top of him. Something in me has snapped and broken free, some small part of me that has wanted Bishop again from the moment I saw him on Main Street all those weeks ago.
I’ve missed him. He might have been the one to say it, but I feel it, too, feel it in my very depths, in the part of me that aches and longs for him, that has always longed for him. God, to feel the warmth of his arms around me when I’ve felt so cold for so long. His hands frame my face, and then he nibbles on my bottom lip, just like he used to.
That thought stops me cold, brings my movements to a halt, and Bishop’s as well. He can feel that I’ve stopped, and he pulls back, eyeing me closely. Before he can say anything, I push off of him so I’m standing.
The movement bumps Bishop’s wrist, and he winces, bringing his arm in tight against his chest.
“You should probably go,” I tell him, ignoring the desire to check if he’s okay. “I have to do some laundry for tomorrow.”
A lie, but it’s the only thing I can think to say that will usher him out the door and isn’t a truth I’m not ready to speak. As much as I want Bishop, there’s just too much hurt and confusion for me to get past, and it was stupid of me to lose sight of that.
He stands, eyeing me cautiously. “Gabi…”
“You can let yourself out, right?”
I ask the question but barely give him a chance to nod before I’m fleeing the room and heading down the short hallway to my bedroom. Once there, I shut the door and lean against it, my hand to my chest. My heart is pounding like I just ran a mile, and I sink down to the floor, my butt on the carpet and my arms wrapped around my knees.
I know I’m overreacting. I know it, but I can’t help the fact that I suddenly needed to be anywhere but standing in front of the man who broke my heart.
“Gabi.”
The sound of Bishop’s voice on the other side of the door, quiet and steady, is just as much a burn as it is a balm. A few gentle taps, and he says my name again.
“Gabi, can I talk to you? Just for a second?”
I take a deep breath and let it out slowly, knowing if I don’t bite the bullet and just talk to him, he’ll be here even longer. Pushing to my feet, I shake out my hands and open the door, one eyebrow raised.
“What.”
Bishop’s head tilts to the side as he assesses me.
“Just didn’t want to leave without knowing you’re okay.”
I cross my arms. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
