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“Do you want to come in?” she asks, gathering her things from the footwell.
I already knew what I would say if Gabi asked, but that doesn’t mean turning her down is easy.
“Maybe another night.”
I can tell by the rise of her eyebrows that she’s surprised by my response, so I clarify.
“We might not be starting at the beginning, but that doesn’t mean we should jump back into things too quickly, right?”
Gabi laughs. “Bishop, we had sex two days ago.”
Grinning, I bite my lower lip. “I know, and it was amazing.”
“So then…what? You want us to not have sex now that we’re going to start dating again? That makes no sense.”
“I’m not saying we shouldn’t have sex. I’m just saying we have plenty of time, and I don’t want us to miss the important things because we get too focused on the physical stuff too quickly.”
Gabi doesn’t like my answer, and it makes me laugh again. She’s always had a strong sexual appetite. It was often her leading the charge when we were younger, even though I’m almost positive most people would have assumed I was the one doing the corrupting. They would not have been more wrong.
I take her hand in mine and press another kiss to the inside of her wrist. Then I lick it gently and suck lightly on the skin. Her lips part just slightly, and I see a shiver roll through her.
“Trust me, okay? I know that’s not easy for you to do, but believe me when I say…” I lean forward so our mouths are inches apart. “It’ll be worth it.”
I kiss her, slow and sensual, my hand grazing the base of her throat before moving up into her hair and tugging gently. She moans as I kiss down her neck then lick my way back up. When I pull back, she has a glazed look in her eyes that I love to see.
“I’ll talk to you soon,” I tell her.
Gabi smirks at me. “You are such a fucking tease.”
She hops out of my 4Runner and heads inside, turning to wave at me from the doorway before shutting the door behind her.
I’m sure there are plenty of men who would say I’m an idiot for what I just did, who would think the best way for Gabi and me to get back on the same page is to fuck constantly, bring back the physical intimacy, but I have some strong opinions myself. Physical intimacy can only help a relationship if the emotional intimacy is there first, and emotional intimacy only comes with trust—the thing that is the most difficult for Gabi to give.
I don’t doubt that it would be so easy for us to jump into a heavily physical relationship, especially now that we aren’t teenagers constantly trying to avoid getting caught. Gabi will give her body to me, but will she give me her heart? Her mind? Her soul?
That’s what I want from her: everything.
I feel ready to jump back in with both feet, but Gabi is still wading in the shallows. I need to stay there with her until she feels safe, and until she does, I’m going to be moving a little more cautiously. In order for her to believe I’m going to protect her heart, she has to see me doing it.
Even if I’m protecting it from herself.
When I wander into the kitchen at 2am, craving a midnight snack, I’m surprised to find my dad seated at the counter with a glass of what I can only assume is whiskey.
“You’re up late.”
He grins. “Can’t sleep.”
“Same, old man. Same.”
I grab a gallon of milk from the fridge—with my right hand, thanks a lot Dr. Ramos—a box of sugary cereal from the pantry, and an overly large bowl then join him at the island.
“Cheers,” I say once I’ve got my snack set up, and I clink my spoon against my dad’s glass before taking a large bite.
My dad chuckles. “Cheers.”
We sit together for a while, my dad in silence and me crunching away noisily on my cereal, before I realize this is the third or fourth time since I’ve been home that I’ve found him in the kitchen in the middle of the night.
“Everything okay?” I ask, a sliver of unease threading its way through my veins.
