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Chapter 11
Cain was asleep in my bed. He was breathing steadily, a little sigh escaping his mouth with each breath. The fluffy white duvet was only covering one leg. He had kicked it off the other one closest to the edge of the bed. The room was dark but with the drapes open to the balcony still I could see the vast majority of his naked body.
It occurred to me that if anyone had been night sailing they could have seen into this room. The nightstand lamp had been on when he had returned and first put me on all fours, then had flipped me and taken me in a way I had never specifically visualized. I didn’t think that position would work with a shorter man. It was his height that had forced him to haul my legs up so straight. Amazingly, it had worked.
Everything he did worked.
Wide awake, I studied him, unnerved by his presence here on the flip side of three in the morning. I hadn’t slept yet at all. It seemed my ability to self-soothe also depended on being alone in my bed. Having sex with him in it was one thing, but sleeping? It eluded me. I could feel every shift and turn he made. Every sigh. Every tug of the sheet. Every time he brushed against me I wanted to leap up and line a row of pillows between us.
Yet, I didn’t want him to leave.
I was lying on my side, just watching him, a yawn overtaking me occasionally. I had climbed out of bed and put on cotton shorts and a T-shirt, in hopes my standard dress would bring sleep sooner. It wasn’t working.
Cain rolled toward me. His eyes opened slightly. “Sophie,” he murmured.
“Yes?” Had I somehow woken him up? Maybe he had never been sleeping.
“Stop staring at me. I can feel your eyes on me.” He reached out and tapped my nose. “You’re cute but you need to chill.”
“I can’t sleep.” I was too out of my routine. My body was tired and sore but my mind wouldn’t quit racing. I was aware of the fact that I had given another first to Cain. I had never spent the night with a guy. Though if I didn’t close my eyes, I might not tonight either. He might just get up and go home.
“Come here.” He pulled me up against him, his hand on my ass. He gave my forehead a soft kiss.
I was worried this intimacy, physical closeness, would actually make my insomnia worse. But then he started to hum. It wasn’t even a song I recognized, but it gave me a focus. His eyes were closed, and mine followed suit, drifting shut. I steadied my breathing, and found the rhythm of his voice, the vibration rolling over me. It drowned out everything else, my thoughts, my questions. Then he was singing, something about lost souls, but it didn’t matter. His whiskey-smooth, or maybe whiskey-soaked, voice was relaxing. Soothing.
When I woke up it was still dark out, but his hand was still on my hip. My face close to his. I jerked back, shocked I had slept at all. Rolling onto my back, I sucked in a breath of air that hadn’t been expelled by him, and grappled for my phone. Five twenty. Over two hours sleeping in his arms. That was amazing.
Cain didn’t even stir. He looked deep down in a sleep brought about by hard day labor, drinking, and lots of sex. But even as I was debating getting up to use the bathroom his alarm blared. It startled the shit out of me but he didn’t jerk. He just rolled, his arm shot out, and he swiped it off. Then his eyes popped open and he stretched.
“Got to go to work, baby.” He hauled himself up into a sitting position, sighing heavily.
“Are you serious?” It wasn’t even 6 a.m. and we had been up forever. Plus, he had drunk a large amount of who knew what. “I had no idea you had to work. We shouldn’t have stayed up so late. You shouldn’t have drunk.”
I didn’t mean that as a judgment, more as a concern for the horrible day that lay ahead of him. I was horrified that I might have contributed to his misery.
Cain gave me a look. “You know, my father can be a total idiot but the one good piece of advice he gave me was that it doesn’t matter what you do the night before, just get your ass to work. That’s advice I have always lived by. Because of it I’ve never been fired from a job.”
I was pretty sure I was not that tough. “That’s an admirable quality. Though I feel guilty I kept you up late.” I propped myself up on my elbow.
But Cain just smiled. “No regrets here.” He stood up and scratched his shadow of a beard. “I’ll text you later.”
“Okay.”
On his way around the bed, he reached out and squeezed my shoulder. Then he pulled on his jeans and T-shirt and he was gone, closing my door behind him.
I lay there awake now, wondering about him. About his tenacity. A lot of people would perceive his drinking as weakness, and it was definitely an escape. A coping mechanism. But there was something tenacious about Cain that appealed to me. He was actually determined to hold on to his anger.
Maybe because he was afraid if he let that go he would drown in sorrow.
But I was not one to read people with any ease so I didn’t presume to know the truth of what was in Cain’s head.
My phone rang, startling me out of my thoughts. It was my mother. I sighed and answered, knowing she would just call back. “Hello? Mom, it’s five thirty in the morning here. I’m asleep.”
“You don’t sound asleep. I’m sorry, It’s six hours ahead here in France. We’re about to catch our flight and I can’t get in touch with Bella. She’s not answering her phone.”
I yawned, rolling my eyes at the ceiling. “She’s sleeping, I’m sure. The sun hasn’t even risen yet.”
“Or she was up late. I got a phone call from security and they said there was a man in our kitchen. In his underwear. With Bella.” Her voice was shaking with outrage. “If that girl is having an affair a week before her wedding I will disown her.”
