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“She’s a mutt, but I’m sure there’s a little shepherd and maybe even a little pitbull in there. Not 100% sure, but I love her just the way she is.” He says and even though his words are sweet and there’s a smile on his face he doesn’t have that same sparkle in his eye that he did years ago.
“Uh, I hope you don’t mind but I went ahead and ordered for you. One twenty-four ounce, iced, non-fat, white chocolate mocha, no whip and one of the best marionberry scones you will ever eat.”
Breathe Emily…just because he remembers exactly how you like your coffee and what your favorite flavor pastry is, it doesn’t mean anything. Keep breathing and say thank you.
“Thank you, Jonathan. It’s perfect.”
“No problem, I owed you for the other night. It doesn’t make us even or anything, but I just want to say one more time how sorry I am.”
I have no desire to talk about or think about that right now so I divert the conversation to something a bit more lighthearted.
“So, Frances huh? Is she named after somebody?”
“Nope, it’s the name she had when I adopted her. She responded to it so well already that I just left it. Besides she an older girl so it fits.”
“We’ve got Frank at Mickey’s but he’s nowhere as cute as her. Oh, man, does he snore and fart. He’s a bulldog so there’s just no getting around it.”
“Oh, I’ve met Frank and you aren’t kidding. He certainly leaves an impression.” He chuckles.
“You have?” I ask surprised that he would know Mick that well.
“Yep, I’ve known your brother for four years now. I’m not sure why, but he brought Frank to a St. Paddy’s party one year and then I helped him move into his place and saw Frank again then. There’s been a BBQ or two as well. I can’t believe Mickey Jacobs is your brother. What are the odds of that?” he asks, as if he’s just as shocked as I am by the small world we find ourselves in.
I feel myself starting to get emotional at the fact that Jonathan has been so close to me all this time and I had no idea. I wonder if he knows?
“Life’s pretty crazy isn’t it?”
As always, he’s reading my mind.
“It is…So, how did you end up in Portland?”
He takes a big inhale and slowly lets out the breath and shares his story with me.
“Wow, okay this is hard. Um, while we were in Afghanistan, I lost my mom. It turns out she’d been sick when I had been back to visit her the week before I met you, but she didn’t tell me. She said she didn’t want me worried or to take my mind off my missions. I was so angry, Em. How could she have not told me? She was all I had and she knew she was dying and she didn’t let me be there for her.”
I can’t help but reach out and take his hand.
“I am so sorry for your loss, Jonathan. I know how much she meant to you, how much you loved her…” I say while holding back my unshed tears.
He squeezes my hand, then lets go to scrub his face with his hands and then runs them through his hair. I can tell he’s trying to collect himself before he goes on. It’s clear this is all still hard for him.
“They sent me home from the desert for a week to make arrangements and then I had to fly back after the funeral. I don’t know what I would have done without Liam and his family being there to help me figure it all out.”
“The Fanuas, right?”
“Wow, nice memory,” he says with a little smile before he grows somber again. “Yep, Mr. and Mrs. F pretty much did everything. They knew mom was sick, but she made them promise not to tell me. I know they feel horrible about it now, but it’s not their fault and I don’t blame them at all. So, anyway I finished my tour and then came back to Camp Pendleton for the last couple of months, as planned, and then I got out and went back to Savannah. It was too hard to be there. Without my mom there it just didn’t feel like home. I had the Fanuas and I had friends from high school, but being there just didn’t feel like home. I had been saving money for years to buy my mom her dream house and now she wasn’t there.”
“Oh, Jonathan,” I say because I don’t know what else to say.
“So, after being home a month Devon could tell when we talked that I wasn’t in a good place and he suggested I move out here. He offered me his spare room and I knew that Portland State had a really good Criminal Justice program so…I went for it. I didn’t stay in his spare room long. I had my savings, so I got an apartment close to school at first and then after I knew the city better and had my group of friends I ended up moving out here to Happy Valley. I built my dream house and something my mom would have loved. It just felt right. The house may be too big for me and Frances, but I feel like in some way I kept my promise to my mom even though she isn’t here to enjoy it.”
“She would be so proud of you, Jonathan.”
He looks a little embarrassed at my compliment and I can’t help but think how cute he is all embarrassed like this. It’s nice to see him blush for a change, instead of me.
“Thanks, but I think she’d be more proud that I got my degree. I had gone to two years of community college before joining the Corps and then two years at PSU while working the road with Portland PD. So, I’ve been with the department for four years. The first two were crazy with school and work, but I got through it.”
“I’m so happy for you, Georgia! Degree, check! Job, check! House, check! You are checkin’ off all those life goals! Good for you and you’re right. Your mom would be proud of you for getting your degree.”
