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I shrugged.
“I wanted to work for a sports magazine. But maybe you had a little something to do with it. Why?”
She bit her lip.
“I don’t want you to make career decisions based on me,” she said while blushing. “We only just met last Sunday.”
“A lot can happen in a few days,” I said offhand. “I mean, we’ve been having a good time, haven’t we?”
“Yes,” she murmured.
“Well, now there’s no conflict of interest. We can do whatever we want now.”
The female shot me a long look.
“What do you want, Shawn?”
I grew nervous, worried that I might make a fool out of myself, but I wanted to be honest and clear with her about how I was feeling. Knowing that I might very well never see her again after yesterday’s events made me realize I had nothing to lose.
“I think we could work out,” was my low growl. “I think we should be together.”
“When you say be together—”
“I mean that I think we could be very good together, and maybe we should try getting a little serious,” I continued. “If you’re up for it. I love being with you.”
“Shawn, that’s very sweet, but I don’t think it would work out like that.”
I ignored the female.
“Our connection and passion are undeniable, Laurie. Why not give it a try? What if it was meant to be?”
She laughed gently. “Listen to you. Where is this coming from?”
“It’s not just that I can’t keep my hands off of you,” was my fervent statement. “I can’t get you out of my head, sweetheart. I’m sorry if I’m coming off stupid, or clumsy, or whatever. I’m not great at saying this kind of stuff. But when I like someone, I catch feelings fast.”
“Catching feelings is the worst, isn’t it?” she asked gently, her eyes sad.
“I think there’s worse things than that,” I replied. “I’ve done the casual thing for a while, and I’ve never had this much fun with a girl, especially not like we’ve done. You’re special, sweetheart. Tell me you feel it too.”
But somehow baring my heart made me nervous. There was just something about Laurie’s expression that wasn’t right. I could feel the rejection coming.
“Shawn, I’m incredibly flattered, and I think you’re an awesome guy. I just don’t think it’ll work out. Besides, I know my parents would never approve. My mom especially—”
“Fuck what they think,” I interjected. “Aren’t you tired of being micromanaged? Don’t you want to do things your own way?”
“Shawn—”
“Your mom made you cry in front of all your co-workers,” I reminded. “She got you twisted around her little finger—”
“I know what she did,” she interrupted. “Trust me. I know how my mother is. It isn’t just that, though. I think you’re overthinking things.”
“I’m just telling you what’s on my mind,” were my defensive words. “I’m saying that I’m willing to try for something more serious. I’m not opposed to trying new things with you. Everything we’ve done together so far has been great, and I want to see where things could go. I want to see if I could fall in love.”
When the words came out of my mouth, I was just as shocked as she was. I considered taking them back, but what was the point? They were out, and besides, it was how I felt. I genuinely wanted to give things a try.
Laurie blushed, stammering while looking down.
“Shawn, that’s… That’s quite a statement.”
“No pressure, right?” I laughed, an odd tone to my voice.
“I really think you might be putting me up on a pedestal,” she said. “We met on Tinder, we had some fun here and there, and it’s been an amazing week. But what makes you think it’s anything else but that?”
“Call it a hunch.”
She took a deep breath.
“I think we should leave well enough alone,” were her words. “You have a great new opportunity. We both have jobs. Let’s not rock the boat anymore.”
Disappointment plunged like a dagger into my heart, but I made like it was no big deal.
“Okay. I guess it really was just some naughty fun. It’s all good.”
“Exactly,” she said, looking relieved. “I think you’re a terrific person. I really do.”
“I guess I should leave, then.”
“I think that might be best,” were her quiet words.
Although it killed me, I schooled my expression into passiveness. We were done, and I’d been shot down. No sense in wearing my heart on my sleeve anymore. Standing, we awkwardly shook hands, and I headed for the exit.
But once outside, I paused, heart beating like a drum. Fuck. What had just happened? I’d offered my all to the woman of my dreams … and she’d turned me down flat. What now?
11
Laurie
I woke up on Saturday morning feeling exactly the way I did on Friday. I’d dreamt about Shawn, and it was indescribably hot. When I opened my eyes, need filled my form, as well as indescribable sadness.
