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He talked about his horrible experiences at past magazines, which I was easily able to relate to. Trust me, the magazine world is competitive, and more than a few people go to the bathroom to cry privately in a stall most days.
Shawn also told me about his best friend Asher, a buddy of his since childhood. He and Asher were still in touch, and I had to admit that I was somewhat jealous of that connection. It wasn’t because he had another friend, but because their friendship was strong even after all these years. My friendships, by contrast, have waned a little ever since I got so busy at Chic-Wise. I missed that closeness.
We talked about where we wanted to head with our careers. I felt boring compared to him. Shawn had aspirations that soared: he wanted to become a full-fledged sports writer, potentially for a major website or newspaper. He even said he wouldn’t mind trying to go into sports commentating on TV, which is competitive as fuck. His drive really turned me on.
I described a bit about my upbringing, but the man is perceptive. He could tell that we were heading into sensitive territory, and that I didn’t want to get too detailed just now. So Shawn made things comfortable for me, telling me about how goofy his dad had been and making me laugh. He also lingered quite a bit on details about his mom, a woman who’d disappeared when he was young. I found myself angry with her for how much she’d hurt her son.
We even chatted a bit about our past relationships, from one-night flings to serious commitments. For the most part, Shawn was a casual dater, never wanting things to go past a certain point. I wondered whether his mom leaving him made him want to keep his connections short and sweet, so that another woman wouldn’t have the chance to leave him. But there was no point in dwelling on thoughts like that. I wasn’t going to play arm-chair psychologist with a man I adored.
As the sun began to set, we were walking on the pier and eating junk food together, giggling and laughing. We were taking pictures of the sunset on our phones, while walking close.
“My mom can really piss me off sometimes,” I said randomly.
“Hey, at least you have a mom,” he pointed out.
“Yeah, but she just… I don’t know. Rowena treats me like I’m still a child sometimes. You heard what she said. If she doesn’t like how I’m doing my job, she’ll just put someone else in. How do I know that one day, she’ll demand that we break up? Or that I’m going to be fired? I just feel like it’s blackmail or something. I don’t know. Sorry, I don’t want to ruin this sunset.”
“Laurie, you’re not ruining anything,” he rumbled.
“I might as well just start looking for a new job,” was my rueful comment. “Now that I know I have no job security, I should have options ready on the backburner.”
“Give me a week at my new job, and I’ll put in a good word for you, if you want,” Shawn offered.
“You don’t need to do that,” I told him. “Besides, I don’t know how well I’d fit in over at Sports Life. I work better with girls. I might get killed if I join a boys’ club.”
“Yeah maybe,” he said, slipping his phone in his pocket. He put his arm around me, squeezing my shoulder. “I’m sure it must be hard to have your mom be so controlling like that. Especially since you’re an adult.”
“Tell me about it,” I laughed.
He was silent for a moment.
“I almost didn’t take the job at Sports Life, to be honest,” he said. “Because Asher helped me get in over there, and for a while, I didn’t want him to do that for me. I didn’t want any help getting work; I wanted to earn it myself. But sometimes, you need help in certain cases,” he said wryly. “I don’t regret it.”
That hit a nerve because it was the opposite of my life. Sure, I was qualified for my editor-in-chief role with a degree in journalism and experience working at other magazines. But Rowena’s always played such a huge role in my professional life, and the rumor of nepotism followed me wherever I went. It felt bad, to be honest.
“Maybe I shouldn’t just look for another job,” was my rueful sigh. “Maybe I should just quit. Not only should I leave, I should quit in the most overly dramatic way possible, just to piss off my mom. A really big ‘fuck you.’ Maybe you should come back to the office, and we’ll just start having sex everywhere, right in front of people, around the security cameras so that everyone knows what we’re up to.”
