AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I teetered on my feet as guilt slammed into me, forcing me to stumble to a chair. Haunted? Had it really been that bad? “I can’t even remember all of it,” I said, wracking my brain. “I told her she had to do better and accused her of giving up on Fabrizio. I know I insulted her intelligence. Fuck!”
“’Fuck’ is right,” Dad said, face blank. “I don’t know for sure, but I think you picked open an old, old wound, and we’re lucky she’s still taking Fabri’s case.” My eyebrows pinched.
“What do you mean, old wound?” I asked, nervous.
“I mean, her background check points to some serious trauma,” he said, shoulders tight. I recoiled. Lauren, traumatized? By who? Why? Mom frowned at Dad sharply.
“You had a check run on her?” she asked. “Andy!”
“I’m sorry, I know how you feel about looking into peoples’ pasts,” Dad said, “but I don’t regret it. We brought her into our home, around our family—I had to be sure.” Mom pressed her lips together but didn’t say anything. She clearly didn’t like it, but she also knew Dad was right to be cautious. That didn’t answer any of my questions, though.
“Dad, what do you mean trauma?” I asked, frantic.
“What makes you think you have the right to know?” Selene asked, arms crossed. I started shaking.
“I have to make it right,” I said. “I didn’t mean to, I have to apologize?—”
“For her or for you?” Selene asked sharply. “You think you showing up at her door right now is going to make her feel better? If anything, you should leave her alone.”
“But—” I started.
“She’s right,” Dad said. “I didn’t get much detail on her early life, but I know that she was put into the foster care system after her parents died in a car crash. The second home she went to was with a single woman who adopted her when she was five. She graduated high school a year early and went straight to college and has never gone back. She has cut all ties with her to the point of legally changing her last name back to her birth name once she turned eighteen.”
Rage flared in me. The kind of hate that it took to run so far, so young, didn’t come from nowhere. Just what had Lauren survived?
“That’s all you know?” I asked, leaning forward. “No CPS reports, suspicious doctor visits? Nothing?”
“No,” he said. “I was worried, too, so I dug into the adoptive mother a little, but it still only gave me so many clues. She’d been reported to foster care in a different state for verbal and emotional abuse, but the child was removed from her home, and there was no follow-up. The kid’s report was bad—everything he had was a privilege and could be taken away. Clothes, books, the bedroom door. All of them got taken at some point or another. The woman defended it as ‘discipline’ by saying the child was unruly and needed harsh consequences to learn to behave.
“I have no way of knowing whether she did any of that to Lauren, but she probably did. She was well-liked by her community; people called her kind and generous and described her as an amazing mother who was involved in the school and her child’s education—nothing bad to say about her, nothing at all.”
“Narcissism?” Selene questioned, frowning as she analyzed it. “Narcissists are often seen as pillars of their community because of how manipulative they are.”
“Possible,” dad nodded, “but ultimately unknown. The first child said he was yelled at a lot, called stupid and useless, was treated like a burden, and was told he had to ‘prove himself’ to her if he wanted to stay. And she constantly reminded him that his next home could be even worse, so staying was his best option.”
I remembered something I’d said the day before. If you can’t bring Fabrizio home, why should I give you a place in my family? Guilt curled in my gut.
“That was on top of the impossible expectations he had to meet in order to get basic comforts. Even when he was ‘good,’ she constantly invaded his privacy. He was there for seven months, and his next foster families all reported long-lasting trauma responses despite therapeutic intervention.”
“And all of that could have happened to Lauren?” I croaked. I kept replaying what I remembered saying and felt myself getting sicker and sicker. Had I really dug that back up?
“Probably,” dad said. There was a long moment of somber silence.
“I… I fucked up,” I said.
“Yeah, you did,” Selene snapped.
“I didn’t mean to,” I said quickly, appalled. Did my own sister really think I’d do something like that on purpose, even in a moment of anger?
“Do you think that matters?” she spat, standing. Mom made an inarticulate warning sound, but Selene didn’t sit. I grit my teeth.
“Obviously, I’m going to apologize!” I said. “I was mad, and you accused me as soon as I walked in?—”
“Don’t blame this on me!”
“—and I lost my cool, okay?! I said things I didn’t mean, and I was wrong! I get that!”
“Then you get that she left the only safe place she had to get away from you,” mom said sternly. “I love you, Rich, and I always will, and that’s why I can honestly say I’m sad for you. Lauren was someone worth keeping, and you didn’t keep her.”
