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"I love you!" The words escape my lips as a sob.
“I love you, Tommaso.” I keep uttering those three words, hoping they can alter the grim reality.
"Tomm... Tommaso. Open your eyes, please." My voice wavers. I clutch at his hand, desperately seeking the warmth that has begun to elude him. His body is turning cold because of the blood loss. The ambulance speeds through the city. I never stop crying and calling for him.
In the midst of my emotional crisis, Tommaso's eyes open and meet mine for a second. Clouded by pain and fatigue, he seems to recognize me. He squeezes my hand and I say it again, now that I can see in his eyes that he is listening to me.
"I love you," I repeat. The words hang in the air, and he does not respond.
"Please, don't leave me," I plead and put my head on his chest.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
TOMMASO
I'm lying on the bed in my room, pain stabbing through me like a thousand knives. Ella and Francesco are near, hovering over me with worried faces. I look at Ella’s dress, blood-stained. I try to get up, show them I'm still okay, but every move feels like a punch in the gut. Fuck.
Francesco, looking almost ghostly, reaches out to help. "Signore, the doctor removed the shard and stitched you up, but you need to take it easy. You lost a lot of blood."
"I'm fine," I grunt, urging him away. I need to calm down. It feels like my insides are on fire, but I will die before I let them see my weakness. Francesco starts filling me in on the mess outside – we have sent men to secure other regions in the territory, and that rat Mauro is nowhere to be found.
My fists clench, anger simmering just beneath the surface. "Find him. I want that motherfucker brought to me, now!" He nods and heads out to do as ordered. The pain's not letting up, and I'm left alone with Ella. Her eyes are a mix of concern and something else I can't quite place.
"You should let me help you," she says, her voice gentle and quivering.
"I said I'm fine," I grunt, but even my words are strained. The pain's making it hard to keep up the tough act.
She doesn't back down. "You don't have to prove anything to us! For once, let us help." She looks pale and sad, and is trying hard to hold the tears. I glare at her, my irritation and pain taking over. "I don't need anyone's help, thank you very much. I need results. Mauro's got to pay for what he's done."
Shit. I’m being too stern. I need to get it together. She looks broken, and it’s my fault.
She sighs, and then starts to fidget with her hands, nervously. She rarely does that. "Fine, focus on your damn revenge! But don't forget there are people who care about you, even if you won't admit it! And you can be as stubborn as you want, but we still care! I still care! I can’t help it!" She bellows in one go. Woah.
I can't shake the memory of her, sitting by me in the ambulance when I was half out of it from the meds. It feels like I was hallucinating. Perhaps, I was. How can she be in love with me? She has been through so much, because of me.
However, the memory of her voice and face, confessing her love is too vivid to let go off. I can try to push it away for now, bury it under my need for revenge and power, but it lingers. Perhaps she loves me. She fell for her captor. She fell for her villain. I touch my wound with another gulp as Ella walks towards me. Her watery eyes are now ablaze with a mix of anger and concern. I brace myself for whatever she's about to unleash.
"Tommaso, you are the most infuriating man I've ever met!" Her words cut through the air like a sharp blade, and I can't help but flinch, not from the pain but from the intensity in her gaze.
"You act like you're invincible, but look at you!" She gestures towards me, the anger in her eyes softening momentarily to reveal a worry that hits me harder than a gunshot. "You're in pain, and you're too stubborn to admit it. Why do you insist on playing this tough guy act all the time?"
I glare at her, the fire in my eyes mirrored in hers. "This is the life I chose. It's what I signed up for."
Her frustration and pain spill out in a huff. "That doesn't mean you have to act like a fucking hero! Francesco is out there risking his neck! Why?!" Shit. She sounds angry.
I try to scoff, dismissing her concern. "Francesco is doing his job, he knows the deal. We all do. You’re worrying yourself without any reason."
Ella takes a step closer, her eyes narrowing. "That doesn't make it right. You're not some emotionless machine. You're human, and humans feel pain! Stop pretending like you're immune to it." I do. I feel hurt seeing you like this. And I have to make it right.
I grunt, the pain pulsating through me with every heartbeat. "Please, stop worrying for me."
She crosses her arms, her frustration boiling over and her body shivering. "You know what your problem is? You're so determined to be this ruthless boss right now that you forget the people around you care! We care about you. Most of all, I do! "
I look away, her words settling an uncomfortable weight on my shoulders. I take a swig from the bottle of whiskey on the table, a feeble attempt to numb both the physical and emotional pain. Ella's not finished, but it’s hard to look into her eyes now.
"You push away, Tommaso. Every time. You act like you don't need anyone, but that's just a lie you tell yourself. A lie you put up to avoid dealing with the fact that you might actually care about someone too." Her voice wavers.
I grit my teeth, the truth in her words slicing through me. "Don’t do this to yourself. Ella, this is not the time."
