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I give her a predatory smile of my own before I sit and shake my head at the foolishness in front of me. “I’ll be glad to, Dad, but first, take off that face. It’s making me uncomfortable. I haven’t seen you in forever.”
CHAPTER 1
Booby-Trapped Mind
Lynx
Ever had your ass lit on fire? Or maybe struck by lightning? Well, consider yourself lucky that you haven’t, because that’s what it feels like when I wake up with a jolt. One big, disorienting shock, like ice water being thrown on you to get you up and out of bed. If I was wet, I would think I slept through my alarm and my mother was tired of screaming at me, so she sent my father in to wake me up. He’s already over it and brought out the big guns.
Is that a memory, or is that something I’ve seen? I have a vague memory of my mom and dad, but for some reason, it’s a fleeting thought. Huh. Is that the last thing I remember of them?
I’m pretty sure the last thing I remember is a tear. Yep, that’s the best way to describe it, a tear that turned into butterfly kisses. Isn’t that how that song goes? Feeling little flutters all over my body before my eyes crack open to see a young woman with beautiful gray eyes disappearing before me with a soft, sad smile lingering on her lips. I don’t know why, but she seems like she should be familiar to me.
That’s the lamest wet dream ever. She could have at least given me a show.
Shaking off the thought, I glance around the room. It looks to be nothing but a hollowed-out hole and is completely empty except for me. Definitely not the penthouse I should live in. Pulling myself up from the rough stone, I stretch out and notice I’m only wearing pants.
Shit, maybe that lady did get freaky deeky with me and I don’t remember.
I don’t feel any aches or pains except for the lingering pain from the shock of waking up. No hunger or weird smells besides the musky scent of the surrounding ground. I have no fucking clue where I’m at or how I got here, but I don’t seem to be severely hurt, so that’s a plus.
I don’t know what happened to the rest of my clothes, but at least I have clean jeans.
My tanned skin seems to illuminate from the inside out, but I feel like I’ve been through a full body massage and soaked in buttermilk for hours. Even running my hand through my hair, it feels like it’s been freshly washed and conditioned, yet it’s a little longer than I expect. I don’t think I like it this long. Pulling the waistband of my jeans out to inspect the goods, I make sure I’m my magnificent self.
Yep, I still have my elephant cock, so all is good there!
Walking out the cracked wooden door, I find what looks like a somewhat familiar medical room. There are bloody tools lying around, unplugged medical equipment, and the stench of old blood that makes me feel nauseous. Though, I still have no clue where I’m at. Should I know this place? Going to the only other door in the room, I allow my eyes to focus as I walk on silent feet down the tunnels. Something inside of me—which I can only assume is my instincts—is screaming at me to take my time and listen to my surroundings as I continue to walk down the winding tunnel.
As I come up to a fork in the tunnel, I pause long enough to assess which way to go. Voices seem to trickle in from the left, and I can see a slight glow from the end of the tunnel. To the right is only darkness and who knows what else? If I go left, I’ll find people and I’ll at least get some answers to what the fuck is going on. As I take a step in that direction, I’m punched in the gut, which knocks the wind out of me. My lungs freeze as my body cramps up slightly until I stumble back to the right.
Shit. Fine… I get it. That was the wrong direction. Just say so next time.
With my new course set out, I step into the darkness. I creep along the edges, trying to minimize any sounds I might make while moving as quickly as I can.
When I reach another fork in the road, I softly chuckle to myself.
I’m onto you now, fuckernuts.
I stick my foot in a direction, waiting for it to cramp to find out which way to go. I think it's less invasive than throwing my entire body down a tunnel and having to flop around like a dead fish on the ground to backtrack. When nothing happens, I make a turn down another tunnel. I pause when I hear voices up ahead and see a faint blue light.
Well, fuck. I guess the nut fucker has the last laugh after all.
I thought I wasn’t supposed to be getting close to people for some reason. I start to backtrack and turn when I see a flicker of light coming down the tunnel behind me. Fuck! I’m trapped, like a constipated shit! Now, which way am I supposed to go?
“Quick, extinguish the light,” an oddly familiar voice says. The blue light in front of me disappears, and it gives me an idea.
With the light finally off, I can sneak around them and possibly find another way out.
“We’ve got you surrounded now,” someone cackles behind me.
Shit.
I guess my instincts aren’t the bomb, and they were tailing me after all. I scurry as fast as I can into the cavern, looking back once as I get close to the group of people huddled around a girl. This might actually work, since my instincts have been pushing me toward this group. A hooded figure appears—from the tunnel I had just left—with glowing red eyes, but before I can back up behind the group further, I feel the ground lightly vibrate as an earth-shattering boom resonates and the floor drops out from underneath me.
The fall is disorientating as I tumble through the air, but luckily it’s over in a matter of seconds. I don’t know what I land on, but something softens my landing to where I’m only coughing at the dust that flies up from the soft material. Rolling to my feet, I quickly get up and take in my new surroundings.
It seems to still be a cavern-like structure, but instead of being plunged into the darkness, the area where my night vision was useful, this place is covered in a red sheen. There’s a river of red liquid flowing off to the right and left, that I would bet my left nut—no, I would never bet Bert. Maybe my right nut, Ernie—that’s where the heat is coming from. Glancing down, it looks like I landed on some sort of pet bed. Stepping off of it, I finally notice a desk off to the side and a few chairs with wicked finials higher than the backrest beside me.
