AllFreeNovel
Share Us
My knuckles brush something solid. I double my efforts, trying to scoop away the putrid muck. Gradually, I manage to surface the limp frame of a body suspended within the carcass of the gelatinous monster.
Simon, my sweet brother.
Only, when his face breaches, I don’t recognize it as my sibling. It’s older, the features lined with wrinkles. His nose is larger, his cheeks wider. “Who the hell are you?” The question escapes my lips, the shock of bewilderment giving rise to aggression.
I go back to shoveling, as if there might be a second body hidden inside. The manic exercise achieves nothing but a greater mess. I’ve spread the guts of the slime beast across the floor and ruined my pretty ballgown. I doubt that washes out. It’s a peculiar thought for such an emotional moment, I know, but Simon’s absence unmoors me. The bittersweet catharsis I expected delays once again and in its place I don’t know what to think. What to feel.
I sense the presence of my mates surrounding me. They read my exasperation. “What’s going on?” asks Braxton.
I look up at them, each bearing a look of sympathy waiting behind confusion. “This isn’t Simon. This isn’t my brother.”
How is this possible? It’s like my brain is working, but it’s coming up empty. This is Simon. I saw him time and time again. It’s who we’ve been chasing. And yet, this isn’t him. It simply doesn’t make sense.
And yet, it does, in the strangest way. My Simon was gentle and kind. He loved me, and his family, more than anything in this world. He was a person who would sacrifice themselves in a heartbeat for the person they loved. It took me so long to accept that Simon had become this monster. Now, I can’t believe I ever thought that was possible.
Simon is good. Simon is good deep in his soul. Of course he could never do this. He couldn’t hurt a fly. This evil being just took the face of someone filled with goodness and beauty. Why? I don’t know.
But this mystery gets put on hold as my freed Blood Packmates crowd around us. “Asha?”
I peer into an older woman’s face, searching memories for a match. In a classroom, I see her, though she looks different from in the past. Straightened shoulders, smooth face, fewer grays. The time between then and what she’s been through has aged her. Nevertheless, I know for certain she was once my teacher. “Victoria!” I cry, rising to throw my arms around her.
Despite the slime dripping off me, she embraces me without a second thought. “I can’t believe you’re still alive.”
I scan their faces, each tickling a memory of a happier time in all our lives. They look worse for wear, but there they are, all standing on their own two feet. Fucking alive. “How are you?” I ask, as if the answer could be anything other than awful.
Yet, with a soft smile, Victoria replies, “We’re okay. The Blood Mages, they…did terrible things to us. You were there for some of it. You understand.” Her gaze is gentle. “But we passed through the darkness and emerged on the other side.”
I see it hanging around them, the dark specter of their suffering. It leers at me, roars in my thoughts, This was all your fault, Asha! Their pain is on your head! I’m overcome with guilt. Its weight settles over me and my legs buckle. I collapse to the floor, gripped by a fit of hysteria. Sobbing convulsions tear through me. Every muscle clenches, my chest tightens, my thoughts spiral into gloom.
“I’m sorry!” I cry, the words torn from my chest. “I sent you all to hell. Your misery is all because of me! I’m so fucking sorry. I can’t ever fix it! I can’t undo your pain!”
As the world slips out of reach, the touch of a dozen hands pulls me back. I feel their connection as they settle over my shoulders. “Asha.”
The soft voice of my former teacher.
I sniffle and turn my head from the floor. Through a veil of tears, I see Victoria’s face.
“Asha, it’s okay.”
How can it possibly be?
She extends her hand.
I don’t deserve this. Every ounce of pain these people have experienced was because of my foolishness. Because of what I did.
“Come, girl. The hard part is already over,” she says.
It’s not. Simon… or this other person might be dead, but the weight of what I’ve done is still here. Every person here is a reminder of that.
Still, I take hold of her hand, and she hoists me out of the goop. “Victoria, I’m so?—”
She shakes her head and says, “Shush now. Nobody blames you, dear. We’re simply glad you’re okay.” There are nods of agreement from the rest of our pack behind her.
“There’s no way–”
“Asha, believe us.”
I draw my shoulders back, wiping tears from my cheeks. They just don’t know all my crimes. “I thought I was applying to a college, but the documents were actually their way of learning where our town was. And then when they attacked, I ran. I left all of you behind.” But I’m not done. “And when I was tortured, any time I was given a chance to make it end and make someone else take my place, I did it. I let all of you get hurt in my place.”
