AllFreeNovel
Share Us
They’re nothing compared to my desire to wipe her tears away.
She shakes her head vehemently. “Don’t apologize to me. Not for that. Jesus, Dmitri, I’m the one who’s sorry.”
Instinctively, I reach for her. I don’t gather her up in my arms like I want to, though—I just put my hand on her arm. She does the same, her fingers falling against my bicep, loose and curled. We’re linked now, in the form of a clumsy infinity sign. Each one of us beginning where the other ends.
“I would have lost my mind,” she whispers.
“I can’t say I didn’t. I thought murdering Cathal would help quiet the beast inside me. But it turned out that wasn’t enough…”
I expect her to pull away from me. But all she does is tighten her grip and dig her nails into my skin. “You wanted to take out the man who was responsible for taking her life.”
“It took me some time to tease out his identity. Cian did a good job of trying to shield Jared, but in the end, I found—” Them, I mean to say. Them. But I can’t bring myself to say it to her face, so instead, I go with, “Him.”
Wren shakes her head. “I can’t believe that Jared would be capable of that. Cigarette burns, whip lashes… He wasn’t a violent man, Dmitri.” She looks at me earnestly as though she thinks that’ll make me believe it, too. “He was… he was good.”
My voice cracks like ice. “He was not the man you thought he was.”
She flinches back and this time, she does remove her hand from mine. She wraps her arms around her body. “Okay, you may be right about that.” She sighs deeply. “But Rose?”
“Rose was an innocent who got caught in the crosshairs of a game she wasn’t fully aware was being played.” I meet Wren’s eyes. “I regret what happened that night, you know. If I could go back in time and spare her, I would. If only for your sake.”
Another lone tear slips down her face. “They told me it was a car accident.”
“It was a car chase,” I correct. “I had my men corner them at a predetermined intersection. I had a gun aimed at them. Jared saw it, panicked, and the car skidded. They crashed into a lamppost. When I pulled Rose out of the car, she was unconscious.”
Wren’s jaw goes slack. “W-was she already dead?”
Fuck, how I wish she was now. “No. She wasn’t.”
Wren sobs loudly, but she clamps a hand over her mouth as though she’s ashamed of the sound. “S-so… you did it?” she presses. “You killed her?”
“If it’s any consolation, she was still unconscious when I pulled the trigger.”
I expect that weak comfort to be met with anger. Fury, even. But instead, she blinks furiously, unleashing more tears. “S-so she d-didn’t feel any pain?”
“No. There was no pain in the end.”
Her breathing comes in ragged spurts and her cheeks and her chest are blotchy with spots. For a moment, I worry that I’ve told her too much. That I’ve been too honest. The woman is nine months pregnant and I’ve chosen this moment to tell her in excruciating detail how I killed her sister.
Then again, she was the one who chose this moment.
I just decided not to fight it anymore.
“My God,” Wren rasps, dropping her face into her palms and sobbing into them.
I want to comfort her, but I don’t know if she wants me to touch her. All I can do now is be honest. “I’m sorry, Wren. I’m truly sorry for taking away someone you loved so dearly. If I could take it back, I would. In a heartbeat. I’d do anything if it meant you didn’t have to suffer like this.” I’m not sure she’s even listening to me, but I keep talking anyway. “I was a monster who was out for blood. It wasn’t enough to kill him; I wanted to hurt him the way he had hurt me. An eye for an eye—that’s how I saw it. But I should never have set my sights on her. She was innocent in all this and I should have left her out of it.”
“God,” she breathes desperately. “Stop. Just stop.”
I fall silent as her breaths come in heavier and heavier. I wait patiently, bracing for the moment she tells me to fuck off and leave her alone. There’s a blinding hollowness in my chest that’s starting to grow.
If she wants nothing to do with me… I’ll just have to accept that. But it won’t change anything, not really. I’m not letting her or my son out of my sight. If she decides to hate me, she’ll have to learn to live with that hate.
She’ll have to learn to live with me.
When she finally wipes away her tears, her eyes are red and swollen. She looks like she’s been crying for hours. I hate myself for what I’ve done to her.
“You have every right to despise me, Wren. I would understand if you did.”
