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It’s a great compromise, delivered like he’s got years of training in conflict resolution, and still, I find myself rejecting it. “No,” I insist, inching away from him. “I have to do this all on my own.”
“No one is an island, Wren. Asking for help is not a weakness.”
“And what if I have no one to ask?”
“You have me!” he growls. It’s the first time that he’s shown some sign of annoyance, though it’s just a brief flash of fire before he’s back to cool and implacable. “You have me, Wren, and I’m right here, asking to help.”
“But when you’re not around…?”
“Then fucking call me and I’ll drop everything else and come.”
Everything he’s saying is reassuring. And comforting. And amazingly selfless. And yet, it’s not making me feel any better. “But what if you can’t come?” I practically shout. “What if you can’t come because you’re not around anymore?”
He leans back in shock. “Why wouldn’t I be around?”
I jump to my feet and start pacing. “For starters? Because you’re currently in a fucking war with two distinct mafia dons who both want you dead! Because they killed your last wife and they probably have every intention of killing your next one, too! Because you’re out every day, torching buildings, blowing up businesses, and risking your life to end this war… And because I’m terrified all the time that I’m going to lose you and then I’ll be alone with this baby and no goddamn idea of how to keep him safe!”
I’m shaking hard. There’s sweat pooling at my back and my spine is aching from the simple act of getting up.
But at least I have some clarity now on why there are hornets in my brain.
Dmitri rises to his feet slowly. “You’ve been keeping all that inside you this whole time?”
I swallow, which hurts. Maybe I shouldn’t have let the volume knob on my buzzing thoughts get cranked quite so high. “Um, to be fair… they weren’t exactly conscious fears until right now.”
“Understandable.” He nods. “There’s a lot going on.”
“It’s really annoying how patient and mature you’re being right now, you know.”
He smiles and extends his hand out to me. “May I approach the bench, Your Honor?”
Goddamn him for making me smile. “If you must.” Then I slip my hand into his.
He pulls me up into him and kisses the top of my head. “You have every reason to be scared. They’re legitimate fears.”
I hiss wordlessly and recoil. “That’s how you decide to comfort me?”
He chuckles, but his expression irons out almost instantly. “Come over here. Sit with me.”
“I don’t wanna sit.” I’m not sure why I’m sticking with the stubborn adolescent routine, but we’ve come this far, so why give it up now?
But Dmitri puts his hands on my shoulders and I feel an iron strength in those fingers that wasn’t there when he was just stroking my back. His eyes have changed, too. They’re stormier. Darker. “I’m done making suggestions, moya devushka. Do as I say willingly or else I’ll have to make you. And I assure you—I’m gonna enjoy it.”
Well, fuck me sideways with a toaster. Now, I’m emotional and turned-on. That’s just what this little basket case temper tantrum of mine needed: an injection of horniness.
Funnily enough, though, parts of my brain go quiet when he takes over. My legs jump on board with the program first. They pilot me over to the couch where he’s pointing long before the rest of me agrees.
He nods with satisfaction. “Good girl.”
Oof. Wet. Instantly.
Dmitri follows behind me, his scent a constant reminder of how close he is. I expect him to join me on the sofa, but instead, he crouches down in front of me. In fact, he gets down on one knee, proposal style. He takes my hand—my ring hand—and places it between both of his.
“Let’s talk fears first.” Talk about a mood killer. Although, to be fair, I think I led the charge on the whole mood murder mission. “You’re right: I do live a dangerous life. I do deal with dangerous men. But trust me, Wren: I’m the most dangerous one of them all.”
My lip trembles. “No one is invincible, Dmitri.”
“You’re right. And if something happens to me—” I draw in a sharp breath and he grips my hand a little tighter. “—and that’s a big if—I have plans in place to make sure you and the baby are taken care of.”
