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Gran releases her hands from my cheeks, and sneezes, jerking me from my thoughts.
That’s when I notice her eyes are weary and her nose is red. She’s always stooped, but it’s almost like she’s doubled over now as she tries to get a hold of her sniffles and sneezes.
“You’re looking unwell, Gran,” I say, helping her sit at the kitchen table again. “Maybe it’s your turn to rest?”
She coughs, attempting to rise from her chair before falling again. “Nonsense,” she wheezes. “I need to bring Alpha Sage his coffee. Beth was supposed to do it, but she and Cleo disappeared again. Lazy chits.”
She attempts to rise from the chair again, but I push her down, my neck burning.
“Oh!” I swallow in an attempt to temper the excitement in my voice. “I can bring him his coffee.”
Glaring up at me critically, she grabs my hand and pulls me down until we’re eye level. I resist the urge to cower as she tries to inhale the air around me, but she’s too congested and ends up pulling away, coughing and hacking. After several seconds of trying to get a hold of herself again, she waves her hand absently.
“Fine,” she bites out hoarsely. “Go. But be quick about it.”
I nod quickly and turn quickly toward the counter. As I start grinding the beans for his coffee, my mind goes wild.
What will it be like to see him? Will he touch me again? What will he say?
I can barely contain my excitement as Gran watches me suspiciously from the table. When I’ve finally arranged everything, I offer her a wavering smile as I march out of the kitchen and into the hallway, my heart thumping.
By the time I reach the closed study door, I can barely breathe. I inhale several bracing breaths, and just as I raise my hand to knock on the smooth wood, my ghost whispers an idea in my ear … a crazy one.
Balancing the tray on one arm, I reach up and yank my head scarf off before roughly shoving it into my pocket. Unpinning my braid from its bun, I drape the long blond coil over my shoulder and attempt a bright smile.
Satisfied, I brace myself before knocking firmly on the door. I hold my breath until I hear his deep voice reverberating inside the room.
“Enter.”
I exhale before turning the knob and gently push the door open, bracing myself as my eyes settle on him. He’s so handsome. Sitting at his desk, his brow is furrowed as he stares down at a stack of papers.
I’m struck dumb at the sight of him until he looks up distractedly, his eyes glinting and then hardening as he motions me forward.
Pressing my lips closed tight, I mercifully make it across the room without tripping. After setting the tray on his desk, my breathing is stilted as I pour his coffee, dropping in two teaspoons of sugar—just the way he likes it.
Then, I place the delicate cup next to his arm and wait. All the emotions that have been thrumming through my body over the past ten minutes feel like they’re about to burst out of me in a surge of anticipation. He always talks to me when I deliver his coffee, smiling and asking how my day’s going.
But as the seconds tick by and he doesn’t say anything, I start to panic. I swallow a lump in my throat and watch him read, his shoulders moving up and down, slow and steady. He’s perfectly calm.
Finally, he glances up. His eyes barely catch on my face before they’re staring down at the papers again.
“Thank you,” he mumbles under his breath, picking up the cup and sipping.
My mouth falls open, but I still don’t move. My feet are glued to the floor. That’s all I get from him? After so many days away? After what happened the last time?
When he looks up again, he stares at my shoulder, his mouth pinched in annoyance.
“Is there something you need?” he asks gruffly, his eyes flicking toward my face before looking away again.
“No. It’s only that I—I’m feeling better now,” I say quickly. “I thought you might want to know. I’m sorry I haven’t been around. Gran made me rest.”
“I’m glad you’re well,” he says distinctly before looking back down at his papers. “I’ll send word if I need anything else.”
I don’t move. I don’t breathe.
The clock on the mantle ticks, the seconds dripping slowly past. Finally, he exhales loudly and looks up at me again. His pupils are so dilated, his green eyes look black.
“What’s the matter, Hetty?” he whispers gruffly.
