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Her breathing sounds like a snow shovel scraping concrete. It’s grating and empty, like she’s digging to the bottom of her lungs for the last remnants of her life.
“Gran,” I whisper as tears begin to burn the back of my eyes. Isolde and Elizabeth move aside as I waft toward her and lower to my knees before grabbing hold of her hand. It’s limp and cold.
“I’m so sorry, Hetty,” Elizabeth says gravely from behind me. “I think it’s the sickness.”
“I don’t understand,” I say tearfully. “She was fine this morning. And she wasn’t this bad…even an hour ago.”
Even as I say it, I know that’s not exactly true. She’s been sick for days but never like this—frozen in some semblance of near-death. No, this didn’t happen until after…
The emotion and fear flowing through my body freeze when I remember the cup of herb-infused water that Isolde forced on her this afternoon, and my ghost jolts to the surface.
She did this, it says, and you let it happen.
I can feel Isolde behind me, watching and waiting. Calm and quiet. But what reason would she have to poison Gran? She loves her. She depends on her.
“Are you sure it’s the sickness?” I ask, my voice low and halted.
“I’m quite sure,” Elizabeth murmurs gently. She kneels beside me, the light from her candle creating long shadows on her beautiful face. “Just last year, one of my maids caught it. It was sudden and exactly like this. There’s no help for it, unfortunately.”
With any other omega here, I wouldn’t believe her. I would think she was covering for Isolde. But Elizabeth is close friends with Stella, and she was always around and playing with us as children. Stella stopped seeing her as much as they got older, though, but I always liked her.
She has a confidence about her, and she’s also talented with herbs and plants. Just like Gran always wanted me to be…
I shake my head, the tears streaming down my face. “But she’s so strong. The strongest beta I know. It can’t be true.”
“It’s true, Henrietta,” Isolde’s firm voice resonates from behind me. “I’m afraid Tansy’s time on this earth has ended.”
Finally, I glance over my shoulder. The candlelight flickers over her face, and she’s standing completely still. She looks like a statue. A disapproving one.
I turn back to my grandmother, ignoring her as Elizabeth rubs my back soothingly.
“Gran,” I say loudly. “Gran, it’s me. Hetty. Wake up and look at me.”
My heart jumps when her eyes open slowly. She looks at me, but it’s like she’s not seeing me. Her eyes are blank. Empty.
She’s not in there anymore, I realize. The part of her that made her my grandmother is gone. All that’s left of her is this body, and it’s in pain.
She opens her mouth, trying to speak. But no sound comes out.
Elizabeth rises to her feet, motioning me to stand with her. When we’re facing each other, she sets her free hand on my shoulder, her expression serious. “We need to make her comfortable. I’ve created … something that I think will help.” She lifts her hand where she’s holding a earthenware mug. Smelly tea, I realize. “Do you give me permission?”
I eye it suspiciously. “What will it do?”
Elizabeth considers me, pursing her lips and tilting her head. “Give her peace.”
“You mean death?”
“For your grandmother,” she says, her eyes soft, “they’re one in the same now.”
I cover my mouth with my hand, muffling a sob. “Fine.”
Elizabeth squeezes my shoulder before placing her candle on the bureau and wordlessly kneeling beside Gran again. She makes soothing noises as she gently lifts her head and balances her in the crook of her arm. Finally, humming gently, she lifts the cup to Gran’s lips.
Gran doesn’t open her eyes, but her mouth falls open slightly, just enough for Elizabeth to pour some of the tea into her mouth. She makes more soft sounds as she tenderly massages her throat, encouraging her to swallow.
It takes a few seconds, but as soon as it hits her system, her raspy breathing slows down and then stops completely. She stiffens before her body relaxes in Elizabeth’s arms. Her eyes are frozen, and her lips are almost smiling as Elizabeth lowers her back to the bed.
It’s quick and painless.
