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I knew what was coming.
I knew, but I was still unable to move from the spot I was in.
A loud noise echoed, filling my ears entirely, almost busting my eardrums. My eyes widened slightly as Micah pulled the trigger.
Blood splattered all over his face, neck and upper body. He was grinning like a maniac and a few droplets managed to get on his teeth, his lips and in his eyes.
Jack’s eyes were rounded, and I saw life drain out of him. His lips parted, ever so slightly, and they remained like that, even after Micah tossed the body onto the floor, without a single regard for a human life that he’d just taken.
My head was spinning, throbbing.
The scene replayed in my head like a broken record. I was dissociated from reality. Goosebumps appeared on my skin, my vision blurry. It took me a while to realize that it was from the excessive crying.
I slumped to my knees, feeling nausea rise in my throat. I was kneeling in the pool of blood that managed to spread to me, and as soon as I realized it, I couldn’t stop the vomit from coming out.
No amount of preparation in school had prepared me enough for a scene like this. It was like a horror movie, except this was very real, and given that I had experience with people dying in front of me, it was a matter of time before I spiraled again and got locked in the cage that was my mind.
My hands trembled as I released everything onto the floor, and I couldn’t stop throwing up. Everything that I’d eaten in the past week was on display, and after all the food had been out of my system, I continued vomiting water.
And when I could no longer throw up, I felt dizziness consume me.
The last thing I saw was Micah making his way towards me, and I was unsure if he had another one of his insane grins on his face or not.
I wasn’t sure which one I preferred.
You don’t understand how hard it is to resist you, Bambi.
Seeing you all scared because of me. At times,
I’m not sure if I want to comfort you or
Make sure that I am the monster you should fear.
XIII
STORM
I was backed up against the headboard of the bed.
I had nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. Even though I’d hit a corner I couldn’t escape from, I still found myself pulling back, despite knowing it was useless.
My knees were close to my chest, with my hands wrapped around them. I tried to hide the shivering, to act like I wasn’t bothered — but I was.
‘‘Get away from me,’’ my voice cracked.
Not too long ago, I witnessed him murder people.
It was so fucking different from watching news and seeing crime scenes, watching documentaries, or searching up the articles. Nothing could’ve prepared me for the sheer terror I felt when Jack’s brain spilled on the floor, right in front of me.
I dreamed of him.
Jack and his sons gave me the chills, but I didn’t want to see them dead. They hadn’t done anything to hurt me; if anything, they provided me shelter when I needed it the most. Yet, it was them who ended up dead, and not the man who’s on death row.
‘‘I said,’’ I repeated carefully, yet managing not to have my voice crack, ‘‘get the fuck away from me.’’
Micah tilted his head to the side, a passive look on his face. He blinked a couple of times and, of course, like every man ever, he did exactly the opposite of what I had asked.
He took a step towards me.
