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With my heart thumping against my chest, and my body unable to move, all I could do was stare at him, watch as he inched closer to me. It was on purpose — to destroy the last bit of the sanity I had.
‘‘Get away from me,’’ I said.
Micah didn’t listen.
Too close.
He was too close.
My body was filled with shivers, the smallest hairs on my neck standing. I was frantic almost, thoughts of him consuming me.
What was he going to do? Was he going to hit me? Or worse, was he going to kill me right here? From what I was able to see, he had no weapons, but he still had his hands. Strangling a person with bare hands was very difficult, but definitely not impossible, especially since he was way bigger and stronger than me.
Instead, his index finger was on my cheek. Lightly, he trailed down my face, going from the cheek, down to my neck. He tugged on the collar of the shirt. His hands were warm, yet nothing could’ve prepared me for the fire that I felt as soon as he touched above my chest.
The touches were tender, as if to taunt me. His eyes never left mine and I was drowning. No matter how much my brain screamed at me to look away, not to get sucked into the abyss that was in front of me, I couldn’t listen.
And on some level, I didn’t want to listen.
I was a walking contradiction. But this situation was very new, very strange and twisted. It was unlike anything I’d ever experienced. The darkness that filled my soul threatened to leave me empty and void once this was all over, but I couldn’t bring myself to care.
The more I felt this proximity, the less anxious I was.
The slightest of his touch calmed down all my nerves, and even my mind slowly shut off. All the warnings, all the red alerts in my brain vanished with a mere touch. He had too much power over my body, and there was no way out for me. Not now, since I did something incredibly stupid.
I leaned into his touch.
I fucking leaned into his touch.
I bit my bottom lip to prevent a moan from slipping. I told him to leave me alone, and tried to stay away but then my body and mind decided to betray me. I’d never hated anyone as much as I hated him.
Micah laughed.
I grabbed his hand, and tried to push it off from my body, but he wouldn’t budge. My hand remained on his, squeezing it. I should’ve let go. I should’ve completely shut down any ideas that might be running through his sick head, but I couldn’t.
Instead, when he used his free hand to grab the back of my neck and bring his face to mine, I didn’t resist it. I welcomed it with open arms.
His lips fell on mine, and unlike his touch, it was the roughest sensation. They were warm, and the contrast against my cold ones made electricity spark in the pit of my stomach.
An exhilarating sensation that I had no control over.
The hand that was on my chest moved up until he gripped my throat tightly. It was an animalistic motion that completely threw me off, and before I knew it, I was lying flat on my back, with him on top of me.
His body was rock solid, which didn’t help my case at all.
His teeth grazed my bottom lip. It served as a warning, and when I didn’t do what he wanted, he bit down hard, until I could taste my blood on my tongue. Slowly, I opened my mouth, allowing him a taste.
He tasted like old whiskey and cigarettes, a combination I never thought I’d get hooked on. Yet, here I was, yearning to taste more, to taste it until the day I die. Addictive, dangerous and compelling. It was twisted, just like the thoughts I tried to push to the back of my head.
I was drowning in him, in these feelings I shouldn’t be having. My body shouldn’t have been reacting like this, and I definitely should’ve push him off me, hit him, even kill him if necessary.
Instead, I moaned into the kiss, feeling him tug on my hair and squeeze my throat tighter. No one ever treated me like this. It was new, unknown and I gladly followed his lead.
I allowed myself to drown in him, until there was no going back, no saving me.
I didn’t want to be saved anymore.
I read the book you sent me.
