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“Mac, you’ve got to get out of your head,” Lincoln practically scolded me as we all got ready to go out onto the ice for warm-ups. “Stop letting it bother you. It’s going to eat you alive. Did you plan on approaching him about it? Perhaps if you went to him and came clean, it could work in your benefit.”
“I was going to after the game,” I admitted to him as I fell in line behind him. “I wanted to wait until afterward in case I pissed him off.”
“Well, try not to do that,” Lincoln told me with a smile. “It’s better to ask for forgiveness than it is to ask for permission. I hope you’re ready to get on your knees and beg for forgiveness.”
I nodded, attempting to smile back at him, even though the anxious feelings I had refused to waver. “I planned on it.”
“Good.” He patted me on my shoulder pad. “Everything will work out the way it’s intended to.”
“You’re right,” I agreed as we all began to move down the tunnel. Lincoln glanced back at me and winked as the team began to walk faster, heading directly to the ice. As my skates hit the surface, all of the background noise vanished. My problems still lingered, but they would be there after the game.
This was all that mattered right now.
Everything else could wait…
The game went by a lot quicker than I had imagined it would. Once the puck dropped, I was all in. My mind surprisingly didn’t wander. The fact that Coach Anderson was on the bench didn’t even bother me. It felt like I had reverted back to the mindset I had when I was called up from the minor league team. Suddenly I remembered that I was expendable and had something to prove.
I wouldn’t say I played any harder or any differently than I normally did, but I definitely played with a little more determination. I was determined to make Anderson realize it would be a mistake to trade me. He wanted me on the team and it was my job to make sure he remembered that before I talked with him.
We all began to funnel back down the tunnel toward the locker room when I heard someone call out my name. Turning around in line, I looked back toward the benches where the coaches and the equipment managers were getting ready to follow after us. I met Coach Anderson’s gaze from where I was standing. He gave nothing away with his expression.
“Come see me after you get cleaned up.”
My chest felt like it was going to collapse. My lips were set in a straight line, my expression also giving away nothing. On the outside, I looked like I was completely unaffected. On the inside, I was definitely shitting bricks. I wanted to be the one who approached him, not the other way around. He was going to have the advantage on me now and I just appeared guilty as hell.
I nodded and Anderson turned back to the assistant coach. I headed back to my spot on the bench where my locker was. My movements weren’t rushed, but they weren’t slow. I wasn’t in a hurry to get undressed. Lifting my head after unlacing my skates, my eyes scanned the room, taking it in once more.
My shit was going to be packed up and out of here sooner than I realized.
Everyone around me was laughing, riding the high from our win as they all stripped out of their gear. No one really paid me any mind and I was happy about that. I wanted to take this mental picture of my little found family joking and having a good time. I wanted to store that memory for the rest of my life. Playing on a different team, I would find new friends and make new connections, but nothing would compare to these guys and the friendships we all had.
They really had become my family.
I headed into the shower and got cleaned up before putting on a clean set of clothing. My hair was still damp and I ran my fingers through my tousled curls to untangle them before pushing them out of my face. I caught Lincoln’s eye just as he was about to leave the room. He made a move to come over and talk to me instead, but I simply shook my head at him before heading out into the hallway.
Nothing he said was going to make my situation any better.
This was something I had to do by myself.
And after I received the bad news, then I would go home to Juliette and see how the hell we could make this work. Unless her father scared her off from me… then, I wasn’t sure what the fuck I would do.
Anderson was sitting in his office and I knocked softly on the door that was ajar. He lifted his gaze from his desk and waved me inside. I slowly entered, leaving the door open intentionally. He wasn’t always the most pleasant man, but I didn’t think he would say anything bad to me if other people could hear with the door open.
“Close that, please, and take a seat,” he instructed as he poured two glasses of bourbon.
Fuck.
Following his instructions, I did what he said and reached forward to take the glass as he held it out to me. He didn’t say anything as he studied me and took a sip of the liquor. I wasn’t sure how to proceed, so I did the same as him before holding the glass in between both of my hands.
“I gather you know what this is about,” he said slowly, assessing me.
I nodded. “I actually wanted to come talk to you, but you beat me to it.”
Even though he was still studying me, his expression softened the slightest bit. “Well, we are both grown men here, so let’s just cut directly to the chase.” There was a pregnant pause before he began again. “I know you’ve been seeing my daughter for a while now. She told me how the two of you met, how you are neighbors and how your relationship has blossomed.”
“I know you don’t agree with the two of us being together, but I have no intention of hurting her, sir. Juliette has become extremely important to me, and I really do see a future between us. I understand if you feel uncomfortable about this and don’t want me to play for the Vipers anymore. I just wanted you to know that regardless of what happens, your daughter will always be safe with me. I love her and would never hurt her.”
A part of me wanted to take back all the words I just spoke. This wasn’t going as I had planned. I didn’t anticipate having a total word vomit moment. I planned on being cool and calm, approaching this without spilling my guts on his desk for him to analyze.
