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I finally get it. It all comes rushing back to me now, at an incredible speed. The reason why I left here. Not all of it was Juilliard. Some of it was the suffocating feeling of being coddled by everyone, including—but not limited to—Rhys.
While it is true that he always meant well, he also frequently overstepped. He had defended me tooth and nail in front of Mrs.Piascki, our physics teacher, when I’d failed her class in tenth grade, which made her hate me for the rest of my high school years. When Georgie and I had gotten into arguments, he’d always plead my case and beg her to talk to me, when I simply wanted to be left alone. And whenever I’d gotten upset with him, which wasn’t often, he’d chalk it up to me being bored or on my period.
I didn’t like it then.
I don’t like it now.
Rhys stares at me in horror. “No one said you can’t handle yourself.”
“No, you didn’t say it, but you keep thinking it. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be acting this way.”
This makes him shut up. He presses his lips together, shooting his gaze to where Arsène is waiting on my porch.
“I guess you’re right. I’m sorry, Winnie. Sometimes I just ... I don’t know. I get carried away when I care about people.”
“I’m fine.” I wrap my arms around him and squeeze, reassuring him that I’m not mad at him. “I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?”
He slides into his car and—thank heavens—drives away. I return to Arsène, who is waiting for me on the porch with his usual amused smile, like this is all a big fat joke to him. Only now I’m onto him. He isn’t amused. And hedoescare. This is just his defense mechanism when dealing with people.
“I see your tearful reunion with perfect Rhys is going well,” he remarks.
I roll my eyes, falling back into the rocking chair beside him. “I like you much better when you aren’t being sarcastic.”
He tilts his head skyward, letting out a sigh. “Then there’s no chance for me. Better grab my things and head back home.”
“Stop this,” I snap. “Say what you came here to say. We were in the middle of something.”
“Right.” He taps his knee. “Where were we?”
“I believe you were about to offer to be the father of my hypothetical children and pay for the entire delight.”
“Children?” His eyebrows shoot up. “I thought you wanted just the one.”
I shake my head. “Three. And I will need a surrogate to carry them. Which also costs a pretty penny. Still interested?”
I’m not seriously considering this, and neither is he. This is just one of his many games. I’m sure of it.
“I’m still interested,” he says flatly. Dang him and his weird sense of humor.
I give him a lopsided smile. “We can go around in circles forever, but I wanna know why you’re really here. With flowers.”
Do you really want to ask me out? Am I really about to abandon everything I ran away from and say yes?
“I just told you,” he says, slowly and with distinctive irritation. “I came here to ask you out, but also, if you wish, to give you babies. What’s so hard to understand?”
“Well”—I let out an awkward laugh—“that usually exists only after you’ve had a few good years of the other. You’re acting like you want to give me babiesnow.”
“There’s no better time than the present,” he informs me gravely.
I cover my face with my hands, laughing hysterically, to the point of hiccups. “Arsène, do you mean for me to take this seriously? We’ve known each other properly for less than a year.”
“Time is not a good indicator for anything. I’d known Grace since before she could tie her shoelaces properly, and she let me down. You can’t convince me this isn’t a good idea, because I’ve already made up my mind, and I never make bad investments.”
I’m speechless, so I just stare at him, waiting for more. A few months ago, this man yelled at me that I was nothing but an employee of his, threatened me, then proceeded to destroy my contract publicly. When he came here the first time, he made no sign that indicated he wanted anything more than to wring my neck. Where is this all coming from? And am I really so lucky—or unlucky, depending on how you look at it—that the man I fell for fell for me too?
“This is just all so ... sudden?” I manage, finally.
“For fuck’s sake, Winnifred!” He stands up, flinging his arms in the air, exasperated. “Don’t tell me this is coming out of left field. My need to be near you and next to you at all times had stopped being about Grace and started being about you very,veryearly on. Since you ran out of the New Amsterdam after knocking poor Cory to the ground.”
