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This was how it remained for the next few hours. A battle of wills and ego. Who was going to approach who first? Dad or me. Only I was a goddamn fifteen-year-old and he was the grown-ass man who chose his wife over his son.
Skipping dinner was a no-brainer. My stomach grumbled with hunger, but I’d rather die before losing this ego game with Dad. When everyone went to bed, I tiptoed my way down to the kitchen and atethree plates of leftovers. Then I went upstairs to the roof through the laundry-room window, and stargazed.
I spotted Mercury, Saturn, Venus, Mars, and Jupiter. If I squinted real hard, I could even pretend to see the rings on Saturn. Stars calmed me down. Their existence. The knowledge there were universes out there that were so much bigger than my shitty existence.
Proportions.Yeah, that’s the reason I liked astronomy so much. It put everything in proportion.
The next morning, I was a no-show at breakfast. Conversation was tense as it drifted up to my room. Doug was cracking, knowing his sole heir would rather drink his own piss than share a dining table with him.
By noon, Dad and Miranda sent Gracelynn to knock on my door.
“Come in,” I said, after letting her wait outside my room for nine full minutes, and even gritted out in frustration, “Come on now, I know you’re there.”
She pushed the door open. She’d gotten taller. There were pimples on her chin, and she had colorful braces. She didn’t look good, and that made me happy.
I’d filled out during our time apart. I knew I looked handsome because I got hit on all the time. And I knew Gracelynn figured as much, because she couldn’t stop staring at me.
She gnawed on her inner cheek, clenching the doorknob tightly. “We’re going to the movies. Mom and Dad asked if you wanna tag along.”
“She’s not my mom, and he’s not your dad,” I said matter-of-factly, bouncing a tennis ball onto the ceiling and back to me repeatedly. “And pass.”
“You don’t even know what we’re watching.” She sounded whiny and a little stressed. She didn’t want to disappoint Doug and Miranda. After all, being the favorite child was her full-time job.
“Unless it’s a live show of you getting wedgied by every single person we went to school with, I remain uninterested.”
“I see you haven’t changed at all.” Her pimply chin quivered.
“Of course I did.” I smirked, my gaze still hard on the bouncing ball. “I no longer care for you. Not in the slightest.”
“I’m your stepsister!”
“You’re a liar.”
She turned away and slammed the door behind her.
The days passed slowly, but as they did, the determination inside me grew.
Doug broke first. He knocked on my door five days into our cold war, inviting me to go golfing with his friends. Saying no was no hardship—I hated golf and pretty much despised him.
The nights were much more pleasant. Quieter and less hot. I got on the roof with a flashlight and an astronomy book and a telescope I’d bought after working odd jobs between classes over the year. Doug had given me a credit card to use, but I never touched it, out of principle.
I read about dwarf galaxies and black holes and Higgs boson. I ate a whole day’s worth of food on the roof, not bothering to clean the leftovers, knowing I’d attract all kinds of animals. I lay flat on my back, hands tucked under my head, and wondered. Wondered about what the girl I’d end up marrying would look like. I liked dark-haired women, so I guessed she’d be a brunette. I thought she’d be serious and smart. A scientist, maybe. And she’d have great tits. And she’d let me touch them all the time.
She’d be nothing like Miranda, like Gracelynn, or even like Patrice.
We’d get married, me and this hypothetical girl. And my “family” would attend the ceremony; I’d be cold and distant with them. And they’d know I didn’t need them anymore. That I had my own family now.
This girl, my dream girl, she was going to come from a big, happy family. We’d spend all our holidays with them. We’d have traditions and matching ugly Christmas sweaters and holidays.
It was the dreams that kept me going. Because where there were dreams—there was hope.
After three weeks of solitude, Doug managed to drag me to the tennis court. He knew I liked to play and bribed me with a promise of Korean barbecue and beer afterward.
Dad tried in his own backward way. In the upcoming days, he let me drink beer with his hotshot friends at the country club after my tennis matches (I won them all). And he didn’t force me to spend time with Miranda and Gracelynn.
In fact, I managed to avoid the duo for six whole weeks. Almost the entire duration of my summer vacation. Until one night, when I was on the roof, reading about quantum mechanics, I heard a noise coming from the opposite side of the chimney. I sat up, glancing behind my shoulder. I found Gracelynn standing on the ridge in her pale-yellow pajamas, fists on her hips.
She was just a foot from me, staring at me from above.
