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I bulldozed past him, but he blocked my way, entering my line of vision.
I narrowed my eyes. “Please don’t bother harassing me. I have a Taser, pepper spray, and at least fifty hours of Krav Maga training under my belt. You’re not going to win this.”
The Krav Maga bit was bollocks, but he couldn’t know that.
The man rolled his eyes. “I wasn’t going to harass you. I was going to ask if you wanna grab a drink. I’m Chad.”
Of course he was. He had a Chad face.
I didn’t take his offered hand. “I’m Daphne, and I can’t have a drink with you.”
“Now or never?” He withdrew his hand, not looking one bit offended.
“Both,” I said assuredly. “I’m horribly in love with someone else, and having sex with you won’t be satisfying because you’re not him and because most men are quite useless in the sack, especially the first few times.”
He stared at me, clearly staggered. “Ma’am, do you haveanyfilters?”
“No!” I flung my arms up. “He’s taken all of them, the bastard. You should’ve met me before him. The picture of proper and reserved.”
I could tell Chad didn’t find me adorable-eccentric, but in-need-of-being-heavily-medicated eccentric. Which was why he took a step back, keeping his good-natured smile intact.
“At least you know what you want in life, huh?” He was already jogging lightly away from me. “I’m still looking for that one thing to make me happy. Have a nice one, Daphne!”
With that, he turned around andliterallyran away.
I stared at his back as an epiphany struck me with the force of a lorry.
My work. My career. My need to be perfect. They were all distractions. Avoidance to ensure I wouldn’t take a good look at my life. At my relationship with BJ.
This whole entire time, I’d got it all wrong. I’d been worried Kieran and Mum and Tim were living small, uninspired lives. I’d wanted more for them than working the chippy, wanted them to care about designer clothes and lavish hotels and mansions in impeccable school catchment areas. But they werehappy. Happy with who they were, with what they did, with how much they had. There was no pretense with them. They owned up to who they were and weren’t ashamed of it.
And Riggs, he was the same. Unapologetically himself.
I’d confused greed with aspiration.
Money with motivation.
Comfort with love.
Riggs made me see the errors of my ways, but he was gone now, doing what he did best. Traveling to faraway locations, grabbing life by the bollocks.
I’d outgrown New York once I realized living the glitzy life here wasn’t going to make me happy. And staying in the flat that held everylovely memory I’d created with Riggs Bates was going to taunt me to an early grave if I didn’t do anything about it.
I needed to cut my losses. Go back home and reassess. Buy a camera. Make something of myself. Document. Appreciate. Find beauty in the small things.
On their own accord, my legs turned me around and made me stomp my way to the Dead Rabbit. It only took me ten minutes to get there. I pushed the door open. I spotted Rita and a few other colleagues lounging on dark-green stools in the corner of the crowded room. They were enjoying cocktails and bar snacks. The place was loud and rowdy, but I didn’t have time to do this in the morning.
I marched Rita’s way and tapped her shoulder. She turned around, a look of surprise on her face.
“Hey, Daphne! So glad you decided to join us.”
“I quit,” I announced, proud of myself for the assertiveness.
“Yes!” Rita clapped her hands together. “You were quick. We’re still debating whether to eat here or grab something from a food cart.”
I shook my head. “No, no, I said I quit.”
“This placeislit.”
